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Not knowing might be a good thing. Then again….

From half a world away, a quote that so succinctly captures my mental state, I had to include it in today’s post.
I have been exchanging emails with Ivan from Australia and in his most recent communication he stated the following:
“I sometimes find myself caught between wanting to know everything and wanting to know nothing.  It’s a confusing place!” 
It’s almost like he read my mind.  For those of you not battling cancer, the beauty of this quote may not be clear, but for me this is perfect. At times I think I want to know what is going to happen, when it’s going to happen, etc. On the other hand, perhaps I’m better off not knowing the details and the timeline.
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Yesterday was my last trip to Atlanta. The Oncologist’s office had asked a few weeks ago if I could see the doctor one more time to ‘close out’ the trial I had participated in for Zytiga (Abiraterone).  I agreed and looked forward to the appointment as an opportunity to talk with the doctor one last time, as he was not in the office for my last visit. He started off by stroking my ego a bit. Apparently the doctor I met with last time  (his partner) made rather complimentary notes that I was an exceptionally informed PCa patient.  He said something about not having seen a patient like me in a long time. (I am hoping he meant that in a positive way!) Then there were additional notes about my good looks and handsome off spring, as Brad was with me last month.  JK!!
We talked for twenty minutes or more. He was in agreement with our plan to pursue XL-184. He also said we should keep our eye on MDV 3100, and if we need to consider chemo, there are several options. In closing I must reiterate that if I lived in Atlanta, or the region, I would see this doctor without hesitation! Although I have not responded to the treatment as we had hoped, the experience participating in this clinical trial has been a good one.

One Response to Not knowing might be a good thing. Then again….

  1. My grandson, Shane Coloney visited us here in Pa. a week ago and was sharing with me about PC. I will be 80 on 6/30/11 and I am an 8 year survivor of PC.
    Started out with high PSA of 7.2. Biopsy negative.
    Next year PSA still 7.2. refused biopsy locally and went to Roswell Park Cancer Center in Buffalo,N.Y..Suggested watchful waiting.PSA every six months for three years when PSA went up to 11.4.Another biopsy showed cancer.Given several options and opted for 25 radiation and 68 seed implant.Yearly checkups have been good.
    At your young age will pray for your healing.