Wa, War. He gonna fight but he don’t know what for?

Wa, War. He gonna fight but he don’t know what for?

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, U2, Uninversity of Mizzouri -

Again, with the lyrics, so where do you think I’m headed now?

Well, for once in this battle I wage, I have planned an event further than a month out. I have been discussing with my friend Mark for months and months the fact that I have never seen U2 in concert. While I may not be the biggest fan in comparison to Mark and my other friend Gary, I have been a fan since the early 1980’s.

For me, my first U2 exposure goes back to the University of Missouri, 1983. Though I only attended Mizzou for the fall semester of ’83, the memories are vivid nearly thirty years later. Before you ask, no I did not flunk out. I left for others reasons that are too long to include here. Fortunately, I did continue my education and eventually earned a bachelor’s degree as well as an MBA, but it would have been nice to complete my undergrad program at Missouri. Leaving is one of my few regrets in life.

Now, back to U2, Bill and I were assigned to a dorm floor that turned out to be party central, imagine that!One of the guys we came to know was a guy Jay. It turns out Jay worked at the campus radio station and therefore had access to some fantastic music. Twenty-seven years later I still have the mix tape Jay made. It contains XTC, Big Country and many of the Alternative Bands of the early 1980’s. The one that stuck with me most was of course U2. The three songs he included were: Sunday, Bloody Sunday, Gloria and Refugee. In case you were wondering, the title of this blog is a line from the U2 song “Refugee”. I wonder if that tape even plays anymore?

Last week I took a big step and made plans for July. While this may not seem monumental to you, as I often mention here, looking even a few months ahead is something I do not do very frequently, due to the battle with this disease. Concert tickets and plane tickets have been purchased and the hotel is booked. Mark, Gary, myself, and a few others will be at the Soldier Field event in Chicago!

So now that I have taken care of a personal event, next up on the ‘planning’ list is the ultimate family vacation! Oh where do we go?

drawing a blank …..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, metastatic -

If you are one of the fans of this blog and you happen to have advanced metastatic Prostate Cancer, there is a group that needs your help. Oxford Outcomes is conducting a survey and is struggling a little to find participants. Not only can you help the cause, you can earn $50 just for spending an hour on the phone answering questions.

I completed the survey the other day. It was very easy.

Just call Shadi and she’ll let you know if you qualify and how to participate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shadi Gholizadeh
Research Associate
Oxford Outcomes 7315 Wisconsin Ave., 250W Bethesda, MD USA 20814
T: 240.482.0034/ Fx: 240.482.0043

No Foolin’

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, hrpca, PCa -

I received this from a fellow PCa survivor. So instead of April Fools hysterics, I thought I’d include it here.

In particular, this goes out to Brian.

To all my brothers out there trying to win the battles!

Be the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says “Oh crap, he’s up!”
Brother, life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don’t, just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy, he just promised it would be worth it.

Today is Brother’s Day. Send this to all your brothers, fathers, sons.

If you get back 7, you are loved.
Happy Brothers Day!
I LOVE YA BROTHER!!!

To all of the cool men that have touched my life. Here’s to you!!

A real brother walks with you when the rest of the world walks on.

We Got To Get You A Woman

David Emerson, DES, estrogen, PSA, Todd Rundgren -

As funny as I thought I was being with the Helen Reddy post, I promised Mary to lay off the references to the whole ‘woman’ thing.

With this post I am hoping for little leniency, or forgiveness? However, come to think of it this has nothing to do with being a woman or feeling like one.

Being a Todd Rundgren fan it just came to mind and I wanted to share.

Why? When your PSA goes down 40% in 10 days you have to sing about something!

One final note, as we have in the past, we are cautiously optimistic for long term results. Yes it’s good news and without a doubt I am going to enjoy the next 28 days!


What’s going down?

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, DES, PSA -

Tomorrow is my monthly check-up, you can probably guess I’m a little nervous.

After five years, close to 75 PSA tests, and I would guess over 100 doctors appointments, you might think I would be used to this routine. While the routine is old hat, the anticipation and lead up to the results are something I can’t ever imagine getting use to.

This subject is a topic that gets bantered about on some of the Prostate Cancer message boards. I can’t express to what extent the quality of men’s lives are impacted by this disease. With my case this might sound like a very obvious statement, but there are millions of men out there that have surgery, radiation or just choose to monitor their condition, that go through this anticipation periodically as well. Whether it be every month, quarter or year, these men go through a similar period of time leading up to their test results that mirrors the monthly anguish that I experience anticipating my PSA tests. This is one of the aspects of our experience that the general public may not be able to completely understand. It’s very taxing.

I usually do pretty well with this and probably will do so tomorrow, but I do wonder what the results will be. After starting estrogen (DES) ten days ago, this will be my first test. My last test indicated my numbers were increasing rather quickly. On March 14th my PSA was 193 and I didn’t begin the Estrogen until March 18th, so my PSA before starting DES was probably over 200. Tomorrow, well we’ll see. I don’t know how quickly we will see a response to this new treatment. I am struggling to make a clear, concise point and that IS my point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was able to get out today and play disc golf. It was good to see and play with Tim and E again. Eric, it’s been far too long! I played pretty good, nothing great, but it was a pain free round. Since starting DES, overall my body feels much better. My hips hurt less and my legs are better and I am still able to avoid the Advil.

Finally, tonight was a good, quiet family night. We caught up on a few things we had recorded and basically just enjoyed the relaxation and each others company. It’s Easter week and I look forward to the emotions of the week.

Peace be with you all.

What tomorow has in store for me

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, DES, radiation, Wafarin -

Time changes many things, including treatments for my Stage IV Prostate Cancer.
Five years later, we face a new course, a new direction.

With my PSA climbing considerably over the last 6 weeks and limited treatment options to chose from, we have decided that I will start DES, a form of women’s estrogen. My friend Howard has a good write up here at hrpca.org (http://hrpca.org/estrogens.htm)

There are two potential side effects, DVT aka Deep Vein Thrombosis (blood clots) and/or Gynecomastia (breast enlargement). The former can be managed with Coumadin (Wafarin). The latter requires a one time treatment of radiation to my breasts.

So tomorrow begins the next step. I pray for good results. I pray for the longevity of this treatment. I need a mental break, I need a beach.

I am quite honored

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, PCa, Provenge -
I received an email last month that I was literally on the verge of deleting, but I am quite relieved that I didn’t. I have been invited to attend a “Patient Advocate Summit” for Dendreon Corporation. If all the red tape with the FDA is cleared, this Spring they are launching a new treatment called “Provenge’. I have written about it here on numerous occasions, as far back as October 2006.

Provenge has always been on our ‘what’s next’ treatment list. A quick description is this: blood is extracted from the patient and sent to Dendreon where is it infused with an immunotherapy. It takes about three days to send back and forth. Once the patient’s blood is returned, the compound is reintroduced to the patient. Although there has been a lot of controversy with the FDA and the clinical trials over the years, the most recent data shows that Provenge may prolong life for six months on average. Our hope is that I would be on the high end of the survival range. Given my health is otherwise good and I am relatively young, our intention is that my immune system would kick in and really attack the prostate cancer cells.

The site we are visiting will be one of the first three at which Dendreon is expanding the processing, once they receive final FDA approval.

I feel rather honored to have been asked to participate and am looking forward to the meeting tomorrow. I will be learning more about the clinical trials and new potential treatments as well, and will of course share my knowledge with all of you!

I also am looking forward to meeting a number of the ‘virtual’ friends I have come to know over the past five years!

Like Atlas

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, hrpca, PCa, PSA -

The news of late on one hand is weighing heavily on me, but on the other, we have been here before so I face the day with a smile and try to put the fear behind me. As we revisit this ‘place’ on our journey, I was recently reminded that Faith, Love and Hope are once again those attributes that we must lean on and call on to get through this period.

I try not to speak here as some sort of self-appointed expert on cancer. I just try to share what I know, what I feel about living with advanced, metastasized, hormone refractory Prostate Cancer. Right now it is the unknown that is most concerning. Fear is a particularly distracting emotion. It’s there, right there below the surface, sometimes deeper than others. This will all be behind us once we make a decision. Next week I will either prepare to start a clinical trial or begin a new treatment. Time is of the essence.

If I start the new treatment we will know within a few weeks if it’s working. However, what we will not know is how well and for how long. Another thing that concerns us (re: more fear) is if we pursue this treatment (DES), it will require radiation to my chest to avoid gynecomastia (think man boobs or ‘moobs’). It’s only a one time shot of radiation, but it’s still radiation. We must focus on the fact that there have been a lot of good results with this treatment. That is encouraging.

If we decide to pursue a clinical trial, I’ll have three more weeks when I have to remain off one aspect of my past treatment regime. This is sure to cause my PSA to go even higher. This thought is very concerning as well, again with the fear. The clinical trial is not looking too promising. We might even have a final answer later today. It is going to require some travel, but hopefully just three trips over a month’s time.

It is my burden, but it’s also hers and his. We will get through this together. So after a brief period of self pity and being somewhat consumed by the fear, I am moving on to more positive thoughts, feeling and attitudes. It’s not the final round in this fight, more like the 10th and I just got knocked down, but not knocked out!

194 More Reasons to Hate Monday

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, Ketokonizol, PSA -

Today we saw the oncologist to review my bone scan and the updated blood tests from Friday.
The results…worse!

My PSA climbed to 194.45 which equates to about a 20% increase within one weeks time.
The radiologist report indicated the bone scan was primarily stable. There were up ticks in existing areas, but no new tumors were identified.

The rise in PSA is very troubling and reinforces our decision that a change in treatment is required. As of tonight, I have stopped taking the Ketoconazole, in preparation for our next step. Next Monday, we will either start DES or select a trial location for Provenge. Our ability to pursue a Provenge clinical trial is dependent on us finding a location that is accepting new patients and logistically reasonable.

I’m not depressed, but just kind of bummed out at this point. I have a very busy week ahead so that will provide a lot of distraction, and leave me little time to ponder what lies ahead.

I remain pain free and even played disc golf yesterday for the first time in over a month. We’ll get through this, as we always do.

At the risk of being repetitive, please join me in a prayer to Saint Peregrine.

Prayer to Saint Peregrine ~ Patron Saint to cancer patients

O great St. Peregrine,
you have been called “The Mighty,”
“The Wonder-Worker,”
because of the numerous miracles
which you have obtained from God
for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years
you bore in your own flesh
this cancerous disease
that destroys the very fiber of our being,
and who had recourse
to the source of all grace
when the power of man could do no more.

You were favored with the vision of Jesus
coming down from His Cross
to heal your affliction.

Ask of God and Our Lady,
the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession,
we shall sing to God,
now and for all eternity,
a song of gratitude
for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.