The end is near, the end of chemo!

The end is near, the end of chemo!

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, Ice Bowl, PCa -

It’s been a long road, not too terribly difficult of a road, but long and arduous.
With today’s events, this post is a milestone. It is also the first of many significant posts in the upcoming days.

There are birthdays, anniversaries, and a number of key markers in this journey that are to be recognized. I hope you check back to live and re-live the events with me.

What a long, strange trip it’s been……and will certainly continue to be!

P.S. – It was 17 degrees when we started the Ice Bowl yesterday and 20 degrees when we finished at 12:15. We chose not to play the second round because they were running so far behind that it would have been after 3:00pm. The good news is they were running behind because they had an estimated 300 brave souls out to play Disc Golf!! Great news for this year’s benefactor!

The Dirty Dozen

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, Ice Bowl, St Peregrine -

On Monday I will undergo my 12th, and let’s pray, final chemo treatment. I am really looking forward to it’s conclusion.

The past 7+ months have flown by quickly. As my overall PCa experience over the last four years, the chemo experience has been full of ups and downs. I must say, that as I sit here tonight and write this, I feel great.

After slacking off my exercise regime over the holidays, I worked out four days both last week and this week. This week I even got back on the exercise bike three times. Though I only rode 10-12 minutes, it felt good to once again get my heart racing. However, even after 10 minutes or so, I can rarely get my heart rate over 130 beats per minute. This has always been a problem for me, I guess I’m just too laid back!

It’s that time of year again for the Ice Bowl (here are some previous posts about the Ice Bowl)
pain-in-neck

ice-bowl-video

i-am-such-wii-knee

The forecast this year is calling for a high of 26, but it looks like it will be 18 degrees when we get started on Sunday morning! Remember the motto of the Ice Bowl “No wimps, no whiners”!

Monday will be here before you know it and with that thought, I ask for your thoughts and prayers as I end one stage and enter another.

Prayer to Saint Peregrine ~ Patron Saint to cancer patients
O great St. Peregrine,
you have been called “The Mighty,”
“The Wonder-Worker,”
because of the numerous miracles
which you have obtained from God
for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years
you bore in your own flesh
this cancerous disease
that destroys the very fiber of our being,
and who had recourse
to the source of all grace
when the power of man could do no more.

You were favored with the vision of Jesus
coming down from His Cross
to heal your affliction.

Ask of God and Our Lady,
the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession,
we shall sing to God,
now and for all eternity,
a song of gratitude
for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.

Ramblings

Brotherhood, Charity Disc Golf, chemotherapy, Darius Rucker, David Emerson, PSA, texas Hold 'em -

I have nothing specific to report today, so here are some random things that come to mind.

Have you heard the new Darrius Rucker CD, “Learn to Live“? In case you don’t know, he is the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. The genre is supposedly country, but I would consider most of the songs more rock. Regardless, I still like the CD overall.

I started a new TV series via the iPod. Last week on Monday night after treatment I needed something new while I was awake all night. The show is “Brotherhood” and is currently in season three on Showtime. Since I can never start a new series in the middle I got season one from NetFlix. After four episodes it’s better than average but I’m still not sure. It’s really the story of Cain and Able. The good brother is the city councilman and bad brother a small time gangster, with a conscious.

We are deep in the throws of winter this week in Kansas City, overnight temperatures tonight well below zero. It is supposed to be short lived and rumor has it we might see the fifties by the weekend. Hmmmm, can you say disc golf?

The foundation, www.flhw.org has a few events that are coming up in the first half of 2009. On Fat Tuesday, February 24th, we will be having another Texas Hold ‘Em event. Details will be available soon. On Saturday May 9th we will be having our second annual disc golf tournament, again details will be available soon. We are also contemplating a dinner/wine tasting but have a long way to go with this possible event.

Finally, I am looking forward to Monday January 26th with trepidation. On one hand, it will be the end of chemo. On the other hand the ominous ‘what next’ lies ahead. God will guide us in our decision, but all decisions from this point on are compounded in their significance. We’ll see what happens when we get there…..

Ace times three

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, PCa -

That’s this morning, January 11, 2009 after getting a hole-in-one on the 5th hole!

After a long tiring, post chemo week, I was feeling great this morning so I decided to join a few of the guys at a new disc golf course. The baskets aren’t in yet so we aimed for trees marked like the one next to me. The object was to hit the tree below the ribbon. My shot was 300+ feet from the tee pad and hit the tree right smack in the middle.

Better than my accomplishment, my brother in law Rich got two!! He started the day with one on the first hole and finished the round with another on the 18th! It was only 24 degrees when we started but with no wind it quickly reached 40 degrees.

This afternoon we took down the Christmas tree and put the decorations away. Now football has ended and it’s time to finish the book I started yesterday and get a good night sleep before I start working out again tomorrow morning.

Update before ten

chemotherapy, Christmas, David Emerson, Lake of the Ozarks, PCa -

Before I get to your real reason for coming here an update from today I have to share a weather ‘event’. We were driving back from our annual shopping spree at Lake of the Ozarks and we stopped in Clinton, Mo, about an hour from home. When we got out to stretch out legs, etc. it was 65 degrees outside, absolutely beautiful. As was started back out, 15 minutes later it had dropped to 40 degrees and when we arrived home an hour late, it had dropped 41 degrees and was a mere 24! Overnight it is supposed to dip below 9 degrees! Crazy weather…

Hopefully the freezing rain we are also supposed to get won’t make our trip to KU Cancer Cancer too dangerous. The only thing that might make things easier is that this appointment is not until the afternoon, with treatment not beginning until 2:00pm.
I am somewhat reluctant about treatment #10, particularly after the last time. Ten days before Christmas, I could use some good news, something a little encouraging. I spent part of this morning updating a matrix Mary and I keep with all my test scores, as well as a list of what options lie ahead. After looking it over, my mind is all over the place. I’m not really sure what direction I want to go? If we have to make a change we can add DES or estrogen while continuing to see Dr. V, if we want to seek others options and possibly other clinical trials we are in all likely hood going to have to leave KC. Where we end up going would entirely depend on the trial. This is a decision I have dreaded for years. Not much has changed, the dread is still there….
So, that is where I’m at mentally, a little bit all over the place. Apprehensive, scared, encouraged, hopeful, indecisive……. wondering…. what lies ahead?

Four Hundred

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson -

It was early December 2004 when this train wreck began. December 10, 2004 I had my first PSA test, the results was 189. It got worse before it got better peaking at 271 in early February 2005.

It was at that time this blog was ‘born’ and here we are 400 posts later. The original post from February 2, 2005 was titled “The start of the end?“, here is a portion:

So here I am, a 42 year old, white male and tomorrow I am having a biopsy to determine if the problems I am experiencing are ultimately diagnosed as Prostate Cancer. Grim thought indeed.

Worse case, unsuccessful treatment, or surgery and death. Best case, it’s simply prostatitis (sp?) and the wonderful world of medications will cure all. I’m remaining somewhat hopeful but because of family history and the number of symptoms I have, I am fighting to remain positive. I pray a lot more than I ever have.

I worry most about my wife and young son and how they would go on? Braggadocio aside, I am her life. We are very close and literally are each others world. She lost her mom at 8, the same age he is now. Financially she will be fine because of insurance and other investments we have made over the years. But I worry about them both emotionally and psychologically. I can’t imagine going on without her or him, it saddens me deeply. I pray a lot more than I ever have……

I can still feel the fear in my inner voice as I typed those words. It was a lifetime ago, so much has changed, but one thing remains the same; I still have it and it’s not going away.

The last three years and ten months have brought so much change, mostly positive, happy changes. Not all have been so.

Four hundred posts, I would have never imagined I had enough to share to fill four hundred posts?

The next four years are sure to bring as much change, chaos, ups and downs as the last four. Reading post number one, and comparing it to where I am today, it almost seems like another person wrote those words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After last weeks chemo treatment my week was about the same. I experienced a pretty bad case of metallic tongue which kind of ruined Thanksgiving. I was also pretty run down on Wednesday night through Friday morning. Things have returned to ‘normal’ this week as have my taste and appetite!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note Mary and I have a very dear friend in Minneapolis, Mark B. I wrote about him back on October 29th. Mark is currently in the midst on his own chemo treatment for sarcoma and he and his family need all of our prayers. So I ask that you send one their way as they could surely use our help.

What’s up with you? Don’t ask me…..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, Darius Rucker, David Emerson, Des Peres, PSA -

It’s my PSA, up to 39.97 (from 31.18)

What the hell?  
Yesterday’s post was 100% dead on regarding my feeling better than I have in weeks, so where does this come from?
Dr. V tried to put a positive spin on it “… it’s only one data point, PSA can go up and down..” blah, blah, etc.
I appreciate his comments, but as you know, we were looking for it to go in the other direction, looking for the downward trend to continue.
So we just keep on keeping on; I am minutes away from Chemo # 9 (of 12). Two treatments from now, when we come in on January 5th, we will make, or come close to making a decision about what will be the next treatment after we have completed this regimen.  The likely choice will be DES. DES is an oral pill taken once daily. It is basically women’s estrogen.
Before beginning DES I will have to have one treatment of radiation across my breast bone. This is to help alleviate one of the potential side effects, breast enlargement.
Yeah, that’s right, it just keeps getting better and better!
Before making this decision, we obviously have a little research to do. There are a few other clinical trials we might consider, including Provenge. 
It’s all so crazy, unpredictable; I feel great, my bone scan was stable but……
A MUSIC UPDATE: I haven’t included any musical suggestions in quite some time.
Last night I downloaded Darius Rucker’s new album. If you don’t recognize the name, he is/was the front man for “Hootie and the Blowfish”. Well it seems Darius went a little country! I just listened to it in the lobby, it’s really good. His strong voice come through loud clear all without too much ‘twang’! It’s a keeper, I give it two thumbs up!

Looking forward to …..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa, University of Kansas Cancer Center -

number 9.

Tomorrow, about twelve hours from now, I will be in the midst of chemotherapy treatment number nine.  I’m feeling a bit indifferent tonight; I feel great and in fact, overall I feel better than I have in sometime. Not that I have been feeling bad, it’s just I feel really good right now.

Taking advantage of weather in the 50’s today we played disc golf this morning (welcome back Pete, I really missed you).  Upon my return home I took advantage of the nice temperatures and my high energy level and proceeded to put up our outside Christmas lights. It only took me a few hours and I am glad that this chore is behind me. Next weekend we can focus on the inside decorations. That is, depending on the side effects from “old #9”!

I find it hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 3/4 of the way through this process. I want better results, a lower PSA number, and more, but I am a realist at the same time, and things are going extremely well.  I shouldn’t be greedy but I should thank God for what has happened so far in this process.

I probably say this to often but I live this terribly ironic life; I try my best to go on day after day with my head up, trying to remain positive, trying to laugh and live. All the while I carry this unbelievable burden called cancer. Not a cancer that can come, and begone in short order, but a cancer that goes on and on, unknown to most. There is nothing in my outward appearance that would even let anyone know what a cruel war is waging inside of me.

I am and will remain the commander, the General of this war – I will not be defeated without a fight. Fortunately, even after four years, the battle has just gotten underway.