anna maria island

Old Reliable

anna maria island, Boston, David Emerson, Kenny Chesney -
Aside from the obvious list of supporters;  Mary, Brad, family, friends, etc, there is one more person that has consistently been with me through this journey.

I was already a fan when I was diagnosed, but right around that same time I acquired the album, ‘Songs from the Old Blue Chair’. At the time I was working in downtown Kansas City and had a forty-five minute commute twice a day. Everyday there he was with his songs about Boston, pirates, sailors, beaches and more. The songs and the album became my escape from the reality that was crushing me emotionally and weighing on my physically.
In no way would I ever claim to be his biggest fan or proclaim that I know every word to every one of his songs. As I type this entry the song ‘Boston’ just came on my iPod. As I sit on this airplane, taking my last of nine flights to Atlanta, I am really struggling not to cry. This song, if there was ‘a’ song, is the song that best encapsulates the last six and a half years of my life. The song is basically about a girl who left everything in Boston to embrace the island life. If you are a long time reader you know my love of the beach, the sand, sailing, etc. I want that life. To leave everything and take Mary and Brad and leave cancer and life behind. To basically re-live the week I just spent on Anna Maria Island.  Coffee on the patio listening to the surf, mornings by the pool, walks on the beach, fresh seafood daily and a carefree, laid back life of little to no worries. It’s a dream I would hope to fulfill someday.
Thank you Kenny Chesney for your beautiful music and for providing the momentary escape from the reality that has become my life.
~~~~~
Is it just me or do you also see the irony that the location I am most likely headed for my next clinical trial is Boston? Hmm? Maybe nothing, but maybe fate is stepping it up a notch.
(footnote – the tears won, I couldn’t completely fight them off. They were happy ones!)

…. for a reason.

Advanced Prostate Cancer, anna maria island, David Emerson, metastatic, PSA, Zytiga -

Ever since I’ve known Mary (25+ years) she always has used the expression, “Everything happens for a reason”.

While we were at the beach we spent a lot of time looking for sea shells. One afternoon Brad walked up to the north end of Anna Maria Island and while looking for shells he lost his blue silicon FLHW bracelet.

Then, on Tuesday while we were at Busch Gardens I received the following email:

As I was strolling along the beach at sunrise this morning on the north end of Anna Maria Island in Florida…I noticed a blue bracelet at the edge of the sea…just sitting there mixed in with all the beautiful shell shades….so I picked it up and read Faith Love Hope Win www.flhw.org.

Upon returning home I went to your website and I am still dazed and amazed at what I found. My husband passed to heaven 20 years ago…he was 42…our daughters were 5 and 8 at the time….he had prostate cancer. Not quite sure yet what his message is to me here… just thought I would share this with you. In light, LM

I hope your reaction was like mine. WOW! A coincidence? Perhaps it was, but I believe it was something more. For her? For me? I’m not sure and I may never figure it out. Anyone could have found the bracelet, but it ends up in her hands and with her story it had to happen for a reason.


I met her on the beach one morning and we walked (a long way!) and talked, and talked and talked. She told me about her husband and daughters and I told her about Mary and Brad. It was probably the fastest 90 minutes I have experienced in a long time. The discussion was fascinating, enlightening and touching.

Reflecting a few days later I am left with the thought of how much she still misses him twenty years later. I was also left with the thought that perhaps I had just met Mary, twenty years from now?

AMI – 5.21-5.28

Advanced Prostate Cancer, anna maria island, David Emerson, PSA, Zytiga -

After Brad and I spent the night in Atlanta we boarded a plane on Saturday morning. Instead of heading back to KC however, we continued further south to Tampa where we met my dad and brother Dan.

Brad always teases me about renting a ‘cool’ car versus a ‘dad’ car. The rental was supposed to be a Taurus or similar car but it didn’t take much arm twisting on the part of the man at the rental counter to upgrade us to a Chrysler 300. This is currently one of Brad’s favorite cars so when I pulled up outside the baggage area in the red 300 I thought his jaw was going to hit the ground.

The weather in Anna Maria Island, FL was perfect all day, everyday. No clouds, 85 degrees and a gentle breeze. We spent each morning by the pool and afternoon at the beach. The only exception was Tuesday when Brad, Dan and  I went to Busch Gardens to ride roller coasters.

Each night we ate fresh seafood, key lime pie and basically just chilled out. It was fun, relaxing and just what the doctor ordered, so to speak. There are a few more observations and incidents to report, but that will be part of my next update.  There is also a medical update, but that too will have to wait for now.

The beach is how far away?

Advanced Prostate Cancer, anna maria island, David Emerson, PSA -

I have to start by complaining a little about the weather. Wow is it cold here in KC! Sub zero temperatures and wind chills that will freeze you in minutes. Yes, we had a white Christmas, now I am ready for a little reprieve from the snow and freezing temperatures.

On Monday I had my four week appointment with Dr. V.My PSA stands at 111. That is up 3 points from December, virtually stable. If It had gone from 8 to 11, I’d be worried but with numbers that high, it’s as if it didn’t change.
Yes I’ve become a little complacent, but what we are waiting for is a big jump and/oran increased amount of pain. Right now, as I type this I am pain free. This leaves us,once again, living in a 28 day cycle.
At some point, hopefully months from now, we will have to make a decision on our next treatment. I’ve gone over what those choice are here time and time again so I’ll save that for another post. The choices are few and the long term benefits of most are negligible. However, we go on,heads up, stronger than ever.
As we grind through another frigid winter day I look forward to a few degrees of warmth that perhaps will come next week. I also look forward to a trip to the beach and the warmth and comfort of sand between my toes and Maryat my side. Perhaps it’s time to start making those plans…

Sunsets are like snowflakes….

Advanced Prostate Cancer, anna maria island, PCa, seafood, sunsets -

….no two are the same.
(the picture was taken with my cellphone!)
This is from the last night in Anna Maria Island. We had sunsets equally as beautiful every night but one, when it was foggy.
Seafood, sand, surf, seashells, sandcastles and of course sunsets. At times, I almost forgot I was dealing with advanced prostate cancer….isn’t that what vacations are for?
More details and pictures later….

Somber Easter News

anna maria island, florida, PCa, wes witcher -

Having returned from Florida last night that last thing I expected in my inbox was news like this,
on Thursday we lost another PCa brother.

Wes Witcher, 46, of Marshall, MO lost his battle with PCa, my thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. His obituary is here:
http://www.campbell-lewis.com/sitemaker/sites/campbe0/obit.cgi?user=wes-witcher#

Wes found my blog and contacted me a number of times last year, he was pretty well advanced when initially diagnosed. It’s sad news to wake up to on Easter morning.

Damn this disease.