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‘Everybody’ hurts?

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First and foremost, thanks to everyone for helping with Brad, the dog, dinners, and most importantly, the thoughts and prayers! I attempt to thank you, but words fall short.
Yesterday I had an x-ray of my right hip. The result was confirmation that there was arthritis but we already knew that previously. Everything else appeared stable. My oncologist is on vacation but his physicians assistant agreed the level of pain is too great to be arthritis. So Friday I’ll have an MRI then Monday meet with the oncologist to decide what to do next. In the interim, I am on painkillers to try to manage the pain. I am moving slowly and carefully catering to my right hip and leg. If the MRI confirms micro tumors, then radiation will be next. As scary as that may sound, I look forward to it as long as it relieves the pain and I can put aside the painkillers.
Overall, yesterday was the best of the last four, although getting comfortable enough to fall asleep remains a challenge. Once I do fall asleep, I have been sleeping like a baby!
In closing, a brief excerpt from from one of my favorite R.E.M. Songs….
R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts (an excerpt)

…………
Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no
Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
………
Everybody hurts
You are not alone

From the Urban Dictionary: I’m Down

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short for, “I’m down with that”, meaning, “I am in agreement with the current topic of discussion.”

PSA…..down another seven percent to 118.3!

Yes, it is still high, but a decrease is a decrease and as my statistics teacher use to say: two data points make a trend line! Another indication that things are better is another marker that we track to determine the cancer activity in my body, my Alkaline Phosphatase level is down to 40, the lowest it has been in close to two years.

Overall, the past four weeks have flown by. Between work and planning for the two upcoming FLHW events in May, the days go by quickly. I played in a disc golf tournament on Saturday. After 36 holes in the rain, my legs seem to have fully recovered from the strain I unknowingly put on them riding the stationary bike. I was just trying to get in a little cardiovascular exercise! Mary has mandated that the bike is now off limits. Yes I know, it’s for my own good. We’re committed to walking on a regular basis, so that will be the new regimen.

That’s all for now. I find I have so much less to say when the news is good! Go figure.

Park it

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Looks like I’m going to have to permanently park the stationary bike. Last week, after two eighteen minutes rides of 4.6 miles on Tuesday and Friday, I began to experience some pain in my thighs and hips. Advil is helping but sleeping has been restless the past few nights.

Not riding is kind of a big deal. I’m not a runner and now I’m not a biker, so I’m going to have to find another source for a cardio workout? Swimming might be an option but I have always been the type that leaving the house to work out just doesn’t happen. If I can’t walk down stairs to do it, I won’t. I’m still working out the upper half of my body, but Mary and I may have to start walking on a regular basis in order to exercise my lower half.

Overall, the new treatment seems to be working, if I can base it on how I feel. I will find out next Monday when we have our monthly appointment with Dr. V. and I have another blood test. I have a have a pretty good feeling that we will get good results.

Spring is in full bloom and I really can’t wait to get some flowers in the ground over Mother’s Day weekend!

Ubi Caritas

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It’s Easter week, and as you regulars know, it’s always an emotional week for me.

Tonight begins the Triduum, which concludes on Easter Sunday.

I was honored when asked to present the Oil for the Sick to Father on the alter, but it was the song below that really stuck with me.

We sang the chorus in Latin

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Happy Easter to everyone and may the peace and grace of God be with you all.

Ubi Caritas

Where good and love are, God is there.
Christ’s love has gathered us into one.
Let us rejoice and be pleased in Him.
Let us fear, and let us love the living God.
And may we love each other with a sincere heart.

Where charity and love are, God is there.
As we are gathered into one body,
Beware, lest we be divided in mind.
Let evil impulses stop, let controversy cease,
And may Christ our God be in our midst.

Where charity and love are, God is there.
And may we with the saints also,
See Thy face in glory, O Christ our God:
The joy that is immense and good,
Unto the ages through infinite ages. Amen.

I am strong, I am invincible

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I’m just over three days into my new treatment and I already have a new appreciation for pastels, high heels and was contemplating shaving my legs this morning. Yes, the estrogen must be working!

Seriously though, here is a brief re-cap of the previous few days:

On Thursday I had an appointment with a radiology oncologist. The purpose of this meeting was to receive a single radiation treatment in each breast in preparation for a new treatment. After arriving at his office, it quickly became apparent why we liked this doctor when we originally visited with him in the fall of 2005. He’s a great communicator, listener and even wrote me a prescription for my excessively dry eyes. The radiation treatment lasted about 5 minutes and the best way to describe it was similar to a dental x-ray, but the machine runs for 90 seconds. The only potential side effects were the potential for redness and hair loss. The former did not happen and I lost all the hair on my chest about a year after starting Androgen Deprivation Therapy.

Later on Thursday my supply of DES (woman’s Estrogen) arrived in the mail. I also stopped and picked up a prescription for Coumadin, a blood thinner I now have to take to prevent clotting.

I’m not sure if DES works this quick but by Saturday morning I was feeling many fewer aches and pains, enough so that I played disc golf in the snow!

For the most part, no other changes, except for my looks? Here’s a photo from yesterday.

Oh, yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)

Another loss

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I did not know her particularity well, but she played in our golf tournament for a number of years. For her family and most particularly for her daughters, I include the following memory and prayer.

May the peace and grace of God comfort you all.

We beseech Thee, O Lord,
in Thy mercy,
to have pity on the soul of Thy handmaid;
do Thou, Who hast freed her
from the perils of this mortal life,
restore to her the portion of everlasting salvation.
Through Christ our Lord,

Amen

47 Random birthday thoughts

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1 It was great to have coffee with Mary this morning
2 I hope “Take 5 Coffee Bar” is a success – it’s a tough business
3 It’s nice when total strangers compliment you on your child
4 I pray for a cure for Advanced PCa in my lifetime
5 And If not a “cure” the ability manage this disease for many, many years
6 I want Mary to find comfort, peace and content and not live with stress
7 I want us to celebrate our 20th, 25th and ? wedding anniversaries
8 I long for a trip to the beach, still
9 Will I be here when Brad graduates from high school?
10 Or when Brad graduates from college?
11 Or when Brad gets married?
12 Or Brad and his bride have grandchildren?
13 What will be my next career?
14 I love sushi and look forward to birthday sushi with Gary
15 Dinner at Garozzo’s with the family, it’s been a few years!
16 Happy birthday Cack’s!!
17 I love the water, the ocean so much that I believe I was a sailor in a previous life
18 Thanks for the book Melissa
19 Thanks for all the birthday wishes!
20 I was jamming to Carbon Leaf this morning, love that album
21 How cool is the iPad? Did you see today’s announcement? Price will be interesting…
22 I am a tech geek, I admit it
23 Lunch was great, is there a nap room around here?
24 So many books, so little free time
25 I’m done buying music, I have over 40 gig and over 10K songs, done I say
26 Love, life, peace, hope
27 Family, friends, and the kindness of strangers
28 Given a choice, I’ll take apple pie over cake
29 Thinking there might be a connection between recurring leg/hip pain and disc golf
30 Disturbed at the long term ramifications if #29 is true!
31 I am ready for spring, it has been a long winter already
32 Also ready for a few warmer evenings and a fire pit or two
33 ‘Smores
34 Currently listening to Van Morrison, Brown Eyed Girl
35 I truly love my very own brown eyed girl
36 The Moody Blues – Ride My See-Saw, never knew the name of that tune
37 I once saw Black and Blue (Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult and the Checkerdome in St Louis).
38 In regards to #37, Tony fell asleep, seriously.
39 Dear Pandora, I don’t like the Beatles, please stop playing them….forever!
40 You can teach an old dog new tricks, our seven year old, 95lb lab now sleeps on the floor
41 In the thick of the battle, where do you find peace?
42 Did anyone read this far?
43 What kind of husband, friend, brother, person was I before PCa?
44 I like the new me better than the previous version (David 2.0?)
45 People DO change, maybe not completely
46 So many milestones in the next few weeks
47 I pray for the health that will provide me the ability to write a list of 48 next year!

2009 Winds Down

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One would think that as the years go by I’d have more to say. I was just looking over my blog stats and 2009 may be the year with the fewest posts.

Interesting… I would guess that I’m either more complacent, becoming more comfortable with my situation, or that there just haven’t been a lot of changes, and subsequently, less news to share. The reason doesn’t matter, I’m going to enter 2010 with the goal of posting more frequently.

I’m in the midst of two weeks off and it sure is flying by! A week from today I have my monthly appointment with Dr. V. I’m still feeling the same with little to no pain for the past several weeks which leaves me in my usual predicament of not knowing what the heck to expect.
At some point in 2010 I’m going to have to move on to another treatment regime. It could be another round of chemo. Perhaps we’ll find a clinical trial we are comfortable with. Maybe we’ll take the conservative path, again, and move on to DES/Estrogen.

At this point in time, I do not have a preference and am not leaning one way or the other. Mary will elect or prefer to take the path that is most conservative and has the least impact on my, our, overall quality of life. She is a saint. I can’t say and don’t mean to imply that her choices are
wrong, it’s just at times I’d like to be a little more aggressive. However, had we taken a more aggressive path over the years it doesn’t mean my current condition would be any different. Once again, perhaps she’s right.

Peace be with you all, have a Happy New Year and may 2010 bring you good health, joy and happiness!

Shooting Blanks

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I’m suffering from writers block lately. Nothing seems interesting enough to write about.
So what do I share? I have my monthly doctor appointment on Monday. As usual, I have no idea what to expect. I have been feeling great the last few weeks so one would think a lower number is in store, but as I have come to realize, there are few times when how I feel dictates the result of my PSA test.
Yesterday I had to see my General Practitioner. It’s probably been at least a year since I saw him. The visit was not related to PCa, just a minor foot issue. So as I’m sitting there waiting for him, it occurred to me that the five year anniversary of my first PSA test was coming up on December 10th. As I mentioned to Dr. S, it seems like yesterday while it also seems like a lifetime ago. I wasn’t ‘officially’ diagnosed until early February, but this marked the beginning of what has become my crazy life. Five years have passed, so much has happened to me, to us.
My dad had a birthday last week and turned 78. It seems strange, there is no way he’s almost 80 years old, is he? Sorry Pops, don’t mean to call you out here, but I did.
Christmas is only three weeks away and I have no idea what to get Mary. Wow, I’m up the proverbial creek this year!
Wish me luck, I’m going to need it!
Finally, Monday we (www.flhw.org) are having another Texas Hold ’em Poker Tournament. All the details are at the website, just click on ‘Events’. I hope to see some of you there!!

Plus Two

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It’s two days after Thanksgiving and what a great holiday it has been this year.

We spent Turkey Day with all of our family here in Kansas City, yesterday I returned to the disc golf course and today I am off to the Missouri-Kansas football game.

I ate way too much on Thursday, but it felt good and was as expected, quite delicious.

Though I didn’t play particularly well on the disc golf course, it was great to get back out on the disc course yesterday. I played pain free! It was also one of my last few rounds with Joe before he moves away. The sadness will grow as we get closer to his departure date.

The weather was spring like, high in the mid 60’s. Mary, Brad and I put up the Christmas tree and I got the outdoor decorations up as well.

Last night Mary and I had a great dinner at Bristol and then saw a comedy show. It was quite funny but the sex jokes got a little tiring after two hours.

Now I am off to the MU- KU football game! Once again, the weather is ideal and I predict a Tiger victory!