David’s Blog

Bliss equals this

I’m sitting here on the deck this morning trying to come up with something creative to post? You see, tomorrow is our nineteenth wedding anniversary. I think I was trying to hard, it was right there in front of me all the time.

The picture above was taken at a wedding two weeks ago. It was one of those pictures where you hold your cell phone at arms length and hope you capture a half way decent shot. In this case it was absolutely spot on!

The picture is almost as perfect as her. She is truly and honestly my best friend. I would be a shell of who I am today without her. On one hand, nineteen years has gone by in a flash, on the other, it is filled with so many, wonderful, beautiful memories.

As you might be able to imagine the last five years have been particularly stressful for us. Through it all she remains hopeful and positive. While this may seem expected in a spouse, I know through this experience and meeting other couples battling PCa that it is not always the case. This disease is not only mine, it is ours. With that burden I have yet to hear complaints. Yes the occasional ‘I wish there was a cure’ or ‘I wish the FDA would hurry up and approve that new treatment.’ As it relates to us and our battle, she is, as I have mentioned here before, my Gibraltar.

No relationship, friendship or partnership is perfect, but if this is wedded bliss, I’ll have another helping please!

What lies ahead

Time off – When my severance began on July 1st, Mary and I agreed that I would take the month of July off. Well, here it is the second to last day of the month and I can’t believe it is already over. Even though I wasn’t actively looking for my next career, I do have a few irons in the fire. Nothing concrete at this point, but it is nice to know that in this economy, I am at least able to find some potential career opportunities. 

In the mean time I have been keeping myself busy helping a friend set-up the social media aspects (Twitter, Facebook, etc.) of a new business venture. So far I’ve really enjoyed it and more details will be forthcoming.

Some time away – We have been promising Brad we would take a family trip before school started. I’ve been looking around and gathering ideas but nothing is set yet. Regardless of the destination, it will be good to get away for a few days.

In September I will be traveling to Washington, DC for a Prostate Cancer event. The basic premise of the event is the opportunity for myself and others to encourage our State’s members of Congress to further support Prostate Caner research funding. It’s an event I have tried to go to in the past but it has never fit into my schedule, I’m very excited about this opportunity!

Later in September there are two events that involve FLHW and Golf. One is a customer appreciation event for a local financial services company and FLHW is the benefactor. Though this is their first year, it has the potential to become an annual event and I am enjoying helping them plan the day and certainly appreciate the fact that FLHW was selected to benefit.

2010 FLHW Golf Tournament – Just in case you haven’t heard, the date of our 6th annual golf tournament is Friday, September 24th. There are more details on the website about sponsorships, or if you are ready, you can pay for a player, a team or sponsorship ~ yes, right on the website: http://www.flhw.org/2010-events.html

We are always looking for sponsors and donations for the raffle.  Please let me know if you have any interest or business contacts for either.  We really do appreciate it!  A few businesses have already stepped up and after some recent publicity on television and on the radio, I have several leads that I will to follow up on. This year we are thinking about selling the tournament hats we have made ever year. If you are interested, please send me a note. I should have a definite answer on the color, style, etc. in the next few weeks. I will add the ability to order from the FLHW website.

As we have in years past, we are sure to attract a full field of players weeks in advance. It’s an exciting day and always a great opportunity for us to catch up with friends and family, as well as to make many new friends through this journey. 

Warrior = friend, family member, stranger, hero.

We, the FLHW Foundation have sponsored close to twenty events over the past five years. Yesterday, we took a risk and it paid off way beyond our expectations.

The first annual ‘Warrior Combines’ is in the books. Sixteen Warriors participated, competed and sweated their hearts out. I personally want to thank each and every one of them, from the bottom of my heart.

I would also like to extend my thanks to all the others who offered their support through the purchase of t-shirts, towels and donations. Although we don’t have the final financial results, we believe the results of this event will be another $1,500 that FLHW will be able to donate to support research for improved treatments and a cure for advanced prostate cancer.

Additionally, we were able to promote an awareness of prostate cancer and the importance of early detection to the Kansas City community. With the help of a new friend that I met through Facebook, we were very fortunate to have the local Fox station broadcast live news remotes from 7-9am Saturday morning. I was interviewed for three different live shots. Each interview was approximately two and a half minutes and went really great. The reporter also packaged up some of the video into a segment that ran on a few more broadcasts Saturday night. A link to the package is below. I’ll post the interviews once I figure out how to get them from my DVR to my PC.

Click Here

A few months ago, I was contacted by a stranger who was the creator of the combine event. Today I have what I believe is a true friend for life. If it weren’t for Jason, this idea would have never have come to life. After yesterday, he and I have big plans for future events! Mary and I sincerely appreciate his energy, time and commitment to making the event a success. We are once again blessed to encounter such an exceptional person and are grateful for his support for our organization.

Conceptually, we thought the combine event would be fun and different, but the day proved to exceed all of our expectations. Once again, thanks to all who supported this event!

As the roller coaster turns

As I have shared here before, this journey is if nothing else, a roller coaster ride.

Today, was the good part of that ride. For some that could mean, the point when the coaster pulls back into the station, for me, it’s that part of the ride when you are dropping down the largest hill. That weightless, out of control feeling that for lovers of coasters, like me, you look forward to with anticipation. That anticipation was how I approached today’s doctor appointment. I knew that after radiation last month the chances that my PSA would go down were pretty good. However, I had no idea what the decline might be and was cautious to not expect too much!.

Last month my PSA was 107.00.

Today it was 54% lower, or 49.89.

Wow, that is cause for celebration, even a slight one. After 19 years of marriage, and after five years of this ride, it wasn’t like we were going to jet off somewhere tropical to celebrate (as nice as that might be!), but we did take some time to enjoy the day, to enjoy the news, to share the joy.

We never, ever know what lies ahead, but who really does? The difference is for the rest of you planning your life six months from now, or a year from now, it is not a stretch or an act that would seem foreign to you. For us, we celebrate this day, but right there in the forefront of our minds is that we know that 28 days from now, it all could change once again. All we can do is pray that what lies ahead is yet many more hills on this roller coaster ride.

It’s out there, not in here.

I started to compose this a week ago or so after I woke from some very sound REM sleep. I woke that morning with a thought in the forefront of my mind.

Regardless of religious beliefs, and for those of you that have none, just ponder this, give it a thought. I am not professing to be some deep thinker, this was on my mind and so I share it here.
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“Our purpose is out there, not in here.”

Now what the heck could David mean by this simple thought? Take both your your hands, cross your arms and place them on your heart, this is the ‘in here’. Now pause and give that some thought. Keep your hands there and think about who you are and what your life is about. What drives you? Do you have a cause or purpose you really care about?

Now, take your arms and open them wide, hold them out in front of you. This is the ‘out here’. What are you here for? What are you doing for others?

Selflessness vs selfishness…….

I have met a number of people in my life but at the top of mind are those I have met on this journey. Those that give to and help with this cause simply because they are thinking and acting with their arms extending in front of them. These people remind me of how blessed I am.

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Tomorrow is my 4 week appointment with my Oncologist. I am hopeful my PSA remains in check, and perhaps may have decreased due to the radiation treatments last month. The following Monday we will meet with my Radiologist to review the details of the radiation.

How long?

Wow… 12 days ago? Really?

This gap in my blog is yet another example of the ups and downs of this battle. Last month I was at a low point, one I hadn’t seen in years. Pain, radiation, pain pills, it can all become a little overwhelming. Throw on top of that, the conclusion of a 20 year career in telecommunications and you get a glimpse of where I was by the end of June.

Well a funny thing happened over the last few weeks, one of my favorite old feelings, contentment creeped back in the picture. As has occurred previously, in the midst of my chaotic life, a peacefulness, the ability to be at ease with what is going on set in. On the health front, the radiation did what Dr. S said it would do, it completely relieved me of pain. Given that news, I’ve been off pain pills for three weeks and I am not even walking with a limp. When it comes to a job, well I said going in that I was going to take July off, and then worry about it. I am very fortunate that I have severance pay and benefits until next April. I also have an opportunity to do some contract work, which provides me more piece of mind. I have faith in the saying, when one door closes, another one opens.

This is all I have for now, I promise to try to provide updates more frequently over the next few weeks.

Summertime

Summer is flying by, school starts in a little over five weeks!

With the end of baseball season next weekend I need to find something to do with Brad for a few days and a family trip we can get in before the middle of August? Let the planning begin!

It’s good to feel good!

It’s a good news, bad news thing…..

I’ve written here are a few times about a recently approved and very exciting new treatment for advanced prostate cancer, a drug known as Provenge. Well it seems the demand is far exceeding the company’s capacity to keep up. This is something I saw first hand back in March and something that the company has been very clear about since the FDA approval in late April.

From Bloomberg: Rationing of Provenge

It’s just kind of sad to see in writing and know that even after Dendreon expands their existing facility and opens two others by the middle of next year, it will take some time to clear the back log of patients.

By the way, the title had nothing to do with my personal situation. Yesterday I received my 14th and final radiation treatment. For the most part the whole process was easy. I had some increased pain the first week and was rather fatigued as well. I have however been completely off pain meds for a week now and the fatigue is in the past as well.

We met briefly with the radiation oncologist and I can begin to exercise again but to avoid any exercise involving my legs for the next few weeks. Walking will be fine, but I have to avoid sit-ups so there goes the six pack abs I was working on! Disc golf of course is still a non-issue for at least two months, that is a hard pill to swallow, but I am very thankful that the pain is gone.

It is for her….

It is for her…

It is but your beauty
that which awakens me
and guides me
throughout my day, my life.

It is but your smile
the look in your eye
as you look upon me
the look that inspires me
and retains my desire to go on.

It is but your love
for him, for me, for us
the love that shines
for all who encounter you
The love that I cherish with all my heart.

Ooops, where does the time go?

Sitting here watching the US Open, it suddenly dawned on me that it had been awhile since I posted. Not only had it been nine days, but so much has happened. Once I explain it all, my negligence will be understandable.

After my first three radiation treatments, basically over last weekend, I found myself once again in some considerable pain. The odd thing is that the pain on my right side, which initiated the radiation treatments was completely gone and now it was my left hip and femur that were causing discomfort. It was not nearly as bad as what I had been experiencing with the right side, but it was pretty darn close. Sleep was tough because I could only get slightly comfortable on my back. Using the Oxycodone every 4 to 5 hours, I was able to get through the weekend. On Monday I went in for my 4th radiation treatment and met with the Radiology Oncologist. I left with a prescription for 12 hour, time released Oxycontin. What a God send! I’ve been sleeping great since and was even able to return sleeping on my side that first night. Two days later I completely stopped taking the other pain medication during the day, so I now only need it at night to get some sleep without interruptions from pain.

Today I spent most of the day in the yard. My contribution was minimal, but I was able to pull a few weeds, stake and tie up the tomatoes and provided a slight bit of help to my brother in law as he worked feverishly through the heat of the day to replace some wood trim on the house.

On a related note I discovered something today; there are times when you just have to step back, face the facts and let people help you. I have always been the type to help friends, family, etc. Whether it be with a project in the yard, repairing a computer or whatever, I really take pride in lending people a hand. I however find it difficult to ask for help. Rich taught me something today, other people like to lend a hand as well! As I sat in the shade and watched him work like a horse, I knew how he was feeling. I truly appreciate his time, hard work and support.

Tomorrow is Father’s Day, and I think I’ll take some time to enjoy it! Brad is back from camp, Monday I have my monthly check up with the oncologist (hoping for another decline in the PSA!), a Lupron shot, and a Zometa infusion. After we have the visit at KU Cancer Center, Mary will take me over for my 9th of 13 radiation treatments.

Here are a few lyrics of a song I was listening to while writing this post ~

Life is a carnival
It’s in the book
Life is a carnival
Take another look