chemotherapy

My Neverland

Boston, chemotherapy, David Emerson, Neverland, radiation, XL 184 -

This morning I watched ‘Finding Neverland’, the story of James Barrie who wrote Neverland (Peter Pan). Based on the crocodile tears, this one hit a wee bit close to home. I don’t mind sharing that fact. Yes, I cry during a good, emotional movie. For those of you that have been around here for awhile, you know that I have been known to cry while reading a book! There was just something about the story, it is a great movie I would recommend to all.

Tears, and the emotions that bring them to life, are cleansing. To me they are a release for tension or stress and there are times in this battle when that release is critical. We have a lot ahead of us this August. It all begins in a few days with a trip to Boston. That trip will involve tests, waiting, meeting with the doctor, waiting and we hope, time for a little fun. This doctor appointment and clinical trial I am attempting to get into is perhaps THE most critical point in this journey.

With my PSA count remaining high and the increasing amount of pain I have been experiencing, it is very important that I change treatment plans now. Without this tria,l my alternative is chemotherapy and radiation. Since I did chemo back in 2008, I have the experience, it does not scare me. The issue is chemo did not provide much benefit. As for radiation, this would address the pain, but has it drawbacks. Those include compromising bone marrow and therefore making a chemo treatment less effective, fatigue, short term relief and more.

I just continue to pray this path I find my journey taking is the right one. Not because of the finanacial and travel impacts or the possible side effects, but because the trial offers so much more of a potential impact on the state of the disease than the chemo/radiation option.

I’ll provide more details once we return from Boston.

The Windy City

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, Chicago, David Emerson, PCa, the Windy City -

Being that Brad had a 5 day weekend last week, we decided in early September to make the most of it and head for Chicago.

I wish the weather would have cooperated but it wasn’t so bad. The rain was light and only bothersome as we waited outside the Shedd Aquarium. Brad had never been on the eL, in a public bus or a cab, we did all three! We visited ESPN Zone, the Hancock building, Michigan Avenue stores and enjoyed a dinner at Giordano’s. It was a fun three days away and I can’t wait to go back soon.

On a personal note, leading up to the trip I once again had been having hip and leg pain. I had spent a lot time the previous week or ten days sleeping and using a heating pad at night. It was cold and damp out the week that it seemed to be at its worst. Advil helped but the mild pain was rather persistent. When we arrived in Chicago the twenty minute walk to the hotel included a very noticeable limp on my part. Leading up to the trip I had reached the point where Advil was no longer needed but the mild pain was still lingering. The good news is by the time we walked back to the eL on Saturday, it was without a limp. Three days back at work and it’s all gone.
Mary thinks the pain may be from arthritis after having chemo, I’m not so sure. She did research on this and found instances where patients have developed arthritis after chemotherapy, specifically Taxotere. We’ll have a lengthy discussion with Dr. V on the 9th and go from there.

Fall is here. Although it’s not my favorite time of the year, the beauty of the foliage is stunning this year in KC. That is all for now.

Happy blog-aversary!!

Advanced Prostate Cancer, Chef Roger, chemotherapy, David Emerson, FLHW, Kenny Chesney, PCa, ric masten, rick sadler, wes witcher -

February 2, 2005
The title, “Start of the end”.
How short sighted was I?
So many, many things have happened since then, I’ll try to communicate the highlights in the list below:
– Fear
– Acceptance
– The root of FLHW
– Disappointment in Houston
– Kenny Chesney, Boston concert, etc.
– Disc golf
– The beauty of Spring
– The continued importance of friends and prayer
– Reaching nadir so quickly
– Selecting an Oncologist
– The emotional ups and downs begin
– Anna Maria Island
– Sweden, the British Open
– The Lake
– The Kooks
– Holidays
– It’s not about me
– Birthdays
– The passing of Leona
– The passing of Ric, Rick, Wes, Aubrey, Chef Roger and other PCa brothers
– The power of Hope
– It is what it is
– Chemotherapy
– Friends from: New Zealand, Australia, Las Vegas, Tennessee, New York, Texas, Florida and more
– $100K for PCF
– Brad
– Mary
– the future….

A brick wall

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, PCa -

I was able to get almost all of the way through the week without much day time fatigue, just in the evening and over night.Today on the other hand I am beat. It’s just after noon and I am contemplating heading home for a several hour nap!

I am hoping this does the trick because tomorrow it is supposed to be 60 degrees and disc golf is calling my name! I’ll have to see how things go this afternoon and tonight.
In addition I was hoping to go out a have a nice dinner with Mary tomorrow night, since we spent my birthday at home. I’m not upset with that, I was tired, it was freezing out and my brother-in-law was still getting over a cold. So maybe with the warm weather tomorrow the four of us will find time for a nice meal?
Not much else to share today, other than the fact I pine for spring!

Happy Birthday, sort of!

Black Rock, chemotherapy, David Emerson, O.A.R., PCa -

If you look at the header of my blog you might notice a subtle change, today I turned forty six!
Four years ago, in the midst of testing and diagnosis, I seriously could never imagine myself in this position. Additionally, yesterday was my 12th and final chemo treatment!
However, the meeting with Dr. V didn’t go all that well, my PSA was back up again. On the 5th of January it had dropped to 29 and now it has climbed back to 37.

We still have one more follow up in three weeks to validate the impact of this last chemo treatment. After that, we’ll choose our next path. There are several directions we may take, decisions will happen in a few weeks.

It was somewhat appropriate that the music I chose in the treatment room yesterday included this song from a band my niece turned my on to, O.A.R.

O.A.R. – Black Rock
When you are on your own
not speaking out is like fighting alone
and that is the worst damn way to fight
and when you are scared no more
you reach your hand out and just open the door
and thats just what I’m doing tonight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally, Andrew, thanks for the card!!!
That’s the way aha, aha
I like it, aha aha
That’s the way aha, aha
I like it, aha aha
That’s the way aha, aha
I like it, aha aha
…….

The end is near, the end of chemo!

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, Ice Bowl, PCa -

It’s been a long road, not too terribly difficult of a road, but long and arduous.
With today’s events, this post is a milestone. It is also the first of many significant posts in the upcoming days.

There are birthdays, anniversaries, and a number of key markers in this journey that are to be recognized. I hope you check back to live and re-live the events with me.

What a long, strange trip it’s been……and will certainly continue to be!

P.S. – It was 17 degrees when we started the Ice Bowl yesterday and 20 degrees when we finished at 12:15. We chose not to play the second round because they were running so far behind that it would have been after 3:00pm. The good news is they were running behind because they had an estimated 300 brave souls out to play Disc Golf!! Great news for this year’s benefactor!

The Dirty Dozen

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, Ice Bowl, St Peregrine -

On Monday I will undergo my 12th, and let’s pray, final chemo treatment. I am really looking forward to it’s conclusion.

The past 7+ months have flown by quickly. As my overall PCa experience over the last four years, the chemo experience has been full of ups and downs. I must say, that as I sit here tonight and write this, I feel great.

After slacking off my exercise regime over the holidays, I worked out four days both last week and this week. This week I even got back on the exercise bike three times. Though I only rode 10-12 minutes, it felt good to once again get my heart racing. However, even after 10 minutes or so, I can rarely get my heart rate over 130 beats per minute. This has always been a problem for me, I guess I’m just too laid back!

It’s that time of year again for the Ice Bowl (here are some previous posts about the Ice Bowl)
pain-in-neck

ice-bowl-video

i-am-such-wii-knee

The forecast this year is calling for a high of 26, but it looks like it will be 18 degrees when we get started on Sunday morning! Remember the motto of the Ice Bowl “No wimps, no whiners”!

Monday will be here before you know it and with that thought, I ask for your thoughts and prayers as I end one stage and enter another.

Prayer to Saint Peregrine ~ Patron Saint to cancer patients
O great St. Peregrine,
you have been called “The Mighty,”
“The Wonder-Worker,”
because of the numerous miracles
which you have obtained from God
for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years
you bore in your own flesh
this cancerous disease
that destroys the very fiber of our being,
and who had recourse
to the source of all grace
when the power of man could do no more.

You were favored with the vision of Jesus
coming down from His Cross
to heal your affliction.

Ask of God and Our Lady,
the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession,
we shall sing to God,
now and for all eternity,
a song of gratitude
for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.

Ramblings

Brotherhood, Charity Disc Golf, chemotherapy, Darius Rucker, David Emerson, PSA, texas Hold 'em -

I have nothing specific to report today, so here are some random things that come to mind.

Have you heard the new Darrius Rucker CD, “Learn to Live“? In case you don’t know, he is the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. The genre is supposedly country, but I would consider most of the songs more rock. Regardless, I still like the CD overall.

I started a new TV series via the iPod. Last week on Monday night after treatment I needed something new while I was awake all night. The show is “Brotherhood” and is currently in season three on Showtime. Since I can never start a new series in the middle I got season one from NetFlix. After four episodes it’s better than average but I’m still not sure. It’s really the story of Cain and Able. The good brother is the city councilman and bad brother a small time gangster, with a conscious.

We are deep in the throws of winter this week in Kansas City, overnight temperatures tonight well below zero. It is supposed to be short lived and rumor has it we might see the fifties by the weekend. Hmmmm, can you say disc golf?

The foundation, www.flhw.org has a few events that are coming up in the first half of 2009. On Fat Tuesday, February 24th, we will be having another Texas Hold ‘Em event. Details will be available soon. On Saturday May 9th we will be having our second annual disc golf tournament, again details will be available soon. We are also contemplating a dinner/wine tasting but have a long way to go with this possible event.

Finally, I am looking forward to Monday January 26th with trepidation. On one hand, it will be the end of chemo. On the other hand the ominous ‘what next’ lies ahead. God will guide us in our decision, but all decisions from this point on are compounded in their significance. We’ll see what happens when we get there…..

Ace times three

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, PCa -

That’s this morning, January 11, 2009 after getting a hole-in-one on the 5th hole!

After a long tiring, post chemo week, I was feeling great this morning so I decided to join a few of the guys at a new disc golf course. The baskets aren’t in yet so we aimed for trees marked like the one next to me. The object was to hit the tree below the ribbon. My shot was 300+ feet from the tee pad and hit the tree right smack in the middle.

Better than my accomplishment, my brother in law Rich got two!! He started the day with one on the first hole and finished the round with another on the 18th! It was only 24 degrees when we started but with no wind it quickly reached 40 degrees.

This afternoon we took down the Christmas tree and put the decorations away. Now football has ended and it’s time to finish the book I started yesterday and get a good night sleep before I start working out again tomorrow morning.