chemotherapy

Update before ten

chemotherapy, Christmas, David Emerson, Lake of the Ozarks, PCa -

Before I get to your real reason for coming here an update from today I have to share a weather ‘event’. We were driving back from our annual shopping spree at Lake of the Ozarks and we stopped in Clinton, Mo, about an hour from home. When we got out to stretch out legs, etc. it was 65 degrees outside, absolutely beautiful. As was started back out, 15 minutes later it had dropped to 40 degrees and when we arrived home an hour late, it had dropped 41 degrees and was a mere 24! Overnight it is supposed to dip below 9 degrees! Crazy weather…

Hopefully the freezing rain we are also supposed to get won’t make our trip to KU Cancer Cancer too dangerous. The only thing that might make things easier is that this appointment is not until the afternoon, with treatment not beginning until 2:00pm.
I am somewhat reluctant about treatment #10, particularly after the last time. Ten days before Christmas, I could use some good news, something a little encouraging. I spent part of this morning updating a matrix Mary and I keep with all my test scores, as well as a list of what options lie ahead. After looking it over, my mind is all over the place. I’m not really sure what direction I want to go? If we have to make a change we can add DES or estrogen while continuing to see Dr. V, if we want to seek others options and possibly other clinical trials we are in all likely hood going to have to leave KC. Where we end up going would entirely depend on the trial. This is a decision I have dreaded for years. Not much has changed, the dread is still there….
So, that is where I’m at mentally, a little bit all over the place. Apprehensive, scared, encouraged, hopeful, indecisive……. wondering…. what lies ahead?

Looking forward to …..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa, University of Kansas Cancer Center -

number 9.

Tomorrow, about twelve hours from now, I will be in the midst of chemotherapy treatment number nine.  I’m feeling a bit indifferent tonight; I feel great and in fact, overall I feel better than I have in sometime. Not that I have been feeling bad, it’s just I feel really good right now.

Taking advantage of weather in the 50’s today we played disc golf this morning (welcome back Pete, I really missed you).  Upon my return home I took advantage of the nice temperatures and my high energy level and proceeded to put up our outside Christmas lights. It only took me a few hours and I am glad that this chore is behind me. Next weekend we can focus on the inside decorations. That is, depending on the side effects from “old #9”!

I find it hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 3/4 of the way through this process. I want better results, a lower PSA number, and more, but I am a realist at the same time, and things are going extremely well.  I shouldn’t be greedy but I should thank God for what has happened so far in this process.

I probably say this to often but I live this terribly ironic life; I try my best to go on day after day with my head up, trying to remain positive, trying to laugh and live. All the while I carry this unbelievable burden called cancer. Not a cancer that can come, and begone in short order, but a cancer that goes on and on, unknown to most. There is nothing in my outward appearance that would even let anyone know what a cruel war is waging inside of me.

I am and will remain the commander, the General of this war – I will not be defeated without a fight. Fortunately, even after four years, the battle has just gotten underway.

Life

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, PCa -

I saw this quote and because it’s so appropriate, I thought I’d pass it along.

Life is not the way it’s supposed to be.

It’s the way that it is.
The way you cope with it,
is what makes the difference.
Played disc golf this morning, 28 degrees when I left the house, but it was 45 degrees when we finished at 10:30.

Monday is treatment #9, more thoughts on that over the weekend!

Ever so brief…..

chemotherapy, David Emerson, Dexamethasone, Dexter, Ironman, PCa -

The good news is my PSA is down another 10% to 31.18
I was hoping to drop into the twenties but I am not complaining!!
Of course that was followed up by another night of no sleep. I woke up at 12:45 after less than two hours of restless sleep. I didn’t fall back asleep until after 4:30 so I started the morning on just three hours of sleep.
I did watch a few more episodes of Dexter (again, very twisted) and I watched Ironman, loved it!
Until next time!

A premonition?

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, Rosedale -


The title is just me kidding, I was going to add a joke about my mind being in a fog after tomorrow, but I’ll spare you.

I had to share this picture from Saturday morning’s round disc golf. (click the photo for a larger view) It was around 55 degrees yesterday, shorts, long sleeve t-shirt and a light pull over. When we arrived at the first hole, we could only see about 50 feet in front of us. We encountered the same on hole two. The fog slightly lifted for holes 4-8 but #9 was a blind shot as well. My drive on #9 disappeared into the fog and we found it 320 feet later, under the basket!

The picture above is hole #11. The tee shot and the fairway are covered by trees, thus keeping the fog at bay. However, as we approached the basket this was the scene.

Needless to say, it was fantastic Saturday morning!

Eight…..is great?

bone scan, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa, xrays -

On Monday I will undergo chemo treatment number 8. Wow, how time flies.

I pray, and ask for your prayers, that my PSA decreases once again. I myself am hoping for a number in the twenties, it was thirty-four on the 13th. As part of the clinical trial I also will need to undergo a bone scan again the following week. Other than the inconvenience, these are really no big deal. What does concern me is the amount of radioactive material that will have been injected into my body this year. This will be my fourth set of scans since the first of the year. With each, as preparation for the bone scan, I have an injection of a radioactive isotope. This is what lights up the hot spots of the scan (x-ray).

Work is busy and now somewhat stressful as our company was just bought out. Yesterday a number of my co-workers were let go. Telecommunications is not a very stable industry to be in at this time. If I had the opportunity I’d go back or switch to health care. For now, I’m relatively guarded from lay offs but only because I am working on a very strategic and successful product. My thoughts and prayers go out to those that were impacted. I have been there before, the stress is unbelievable.
This weekend is supposed to provide ideal Fall weather with temperatures in the seventies.
Of course there will be disc golf tomorrow morning, and likely on Sunday as well – we have to take advantage while the weather is good.

The 504th hour

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PSA, University of Kansas Cancer Center -

As we sit in the treatment room this morning, I thought I’d provide a peek into what it is we go through.

This, without exception, is the worst part of the cancer treatment process, in my mind.
It is not all the days and nights of little sleep, filled with stress and worry.
It’s not the scans, x-rays, poking and prodding.
By far the worst part of the treatment process is the 60 minutes (approximately) between the time my blood is drawn and the moment when we are given my PSA number. Perhaps it’s the build up, day after day, week after week, waiting, worrying, anticipating, and questioning, “Did the treatment have an impact this time?”.
Tick, tick, tick…..is the clock even moving? Where are the results? Can I read the look on the doctor’s face when he comes in the room? So, this is what we go through every three weeks (504 hours). Very little conversation, but the stress in the room could be cut with a very dull butter knife.
Did I mention, the nurse dropped off my test results a minute ago?
PSA: 34.47
That’s down from 39.57 three weeks ago!!!!
If you are curious, Mary wins the bet this month.
Even better news, only 502 hours until we have to start this process all over again!
Peace be with you all, enjoy the next 501.75 hours….

Lucky #7

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, Dexamethasone, The Wire -

Monday I will undergo my 7th chemotherapy treatment. More importantly we will receive the results for another PSA test. This will determine if the first six treatments are working. To date, the overall results of chemo are marginal. My PSA went down about 25%, but it has not dropped measurably since treatment three.

I hold out hope and pray that the second half of this regime is as well tolerated and more successful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I finished watching ‘The Wire’ and I must reiterate that it is by far the best crime drama ever produced. Finishing the series was somewhat of a let down, kind of like finishing a good book…you just don’t want it to end. As a viewer it was easy to become attached to the characters. Again, I can’t recommend it enough.

So now I am faced with a dilemma; what to watch during Dex marathons? I better find a solution before Monday night!

Meet my friend Dex

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, Dexamethasone, PSA, taxotere -

A few milestones yesterday, one personal, one not.
Yesterday I had my sixth treatment of chemo. Although this will continue until the end of January, I am now half way through! The good news is my PSA was down, though only slightly, down is not up!
PSA: 39.57
Other good news, my INR (marker to measure blood thinner pharmaceuticals) was finally up to 1.8. The doc increased my dosage once again and we are pretty certain that the injections in my stomach will be a thing of the past next Monday!
On the other hand the steroids (Dex) woke me at 2:15am…..I never went back to sleep! I’ll be dead tired by 9:00pm or so and am hoping I sleep through the night!
The other milestone was yesterday was the first day of fall. As I’ve written here before I’m not a big fan of fall. Winter is the worst. Fall, except for the beauty of the trees for a brief period, represents death in my mind.
As I let the dog out this morning I noticed our elm tree had almost completely changed to purple and had even began it’s annual dumping of leaves into our backyard. The nights are cooler, the days are shorter and it seems that we went from summer to fall overnight.
Three days and counting until the golf tournament. We still have a lot of loose ends to pull together but I am not concerned that it will all come together and the event will go off without a hitch!

Some good, some not so good

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, INR, white blood cell count -

What a whirlwind day yesterday was.

First, I barely slept Monday night. I would guess I got about 4-5 hours of sleep. Most of it was tossing and turning. Must have been the Dex!
My treatment appointment was at 1:00pm. We usually do mornings but with the holiday we had little choice. Morning avoid delay and backlog…..afternoon appointment tend to get you want we got. I checked in at 1:00pm and just before 2:00p, I was called back to have my blood drawn for lab work (PSA, CBC panel, INR all the good stuff!).
The phlebotomist says “I can’t believe you checked in at one and they just gave me your paperwork. We’ve just been back here catching up on paper work and refilling supply cabinets”. I don’t believe you could describe the look on my face as a smile.
So, needless to say that was followed with a meeting with Dr. V’s Physician Assistant. All went well there. She did review the radiology report from Friday’s bone scan. “No new areas, all existing areas (i.e. tumors) are stable and show no uptake”. She did not have my INR or PSA but my CBC showed my WBC had fully recovered and was actually a little high. She said it can indicate that I am fighting an infection but after further discussion and a re-cap of my activities over the last two weekends she was confident I am not. I shared with her the lovely bruising across my stomach (from the Lovenox shots) and expressed my desire to get off them ASAP. No such luck as I’ll share later.
After this we went up to treatment. This takes about two hours with all the preparation, pre-treatment medications and then one hour of Taxotere. Mary was catching up on work, I watched most of the movie “Sideways” on my iPod [great movie!]. As the time was approaching 5:00pm Mary went back down stairs to get my lab results.
PSA – 41.36
INR – 1.6
The PSA was ‘stable’ using her words. The increase was just 1.38. As others have described this is ‘statistically insignificant’. Whatever! We had pinned our hopes on another decrease, but oh well, we looked forward to the next test on the 22nd.
As for the INR (test for blood thinner to deal with blood clot in leg). They want this number to be over two. After almost four weeks we obviously are not there yet. They upped the dosage of Coumadin but I have to continue the shots. I am getting REALLY tired of poking myself with a needle each morning. I mean REALLY tired! I think I do a pretty good job of not complaining or whining here, give me a little slack for once….this just plain sucks! So it’s back to Walgreen’s to get a new stock of needles!
The good news at the end of the day is last night, after all the Dex that I took and that they pumped into me I actually got some sleep! It was not complete or without interruptions, but it wasn’t the standard night after treatment when I am awake from 1-5am! The silver lining, well perhaps bronze but I’m not complaining!
And so the saga continues…..