Gary Allan

One

I had a lot of time over the weekend to think. To think about nothing, to think about life, family, prostate cancer, the usual. I spent the weekend away from Mary and Brad with my brother Doug, brother-in-law Rich, and a few other friends, as they deer hunted.

I don’t hunt, so I just hung out around the cabin, finished a book, chopped wood, watched a few movies and listened to them discuss “would of, could of, should of”. As I write this, it’s Sunday morning. No one has gotten the big buck yet.

I look out the windows across the back of the cabin, I view the beauty of north central Missouri and I wonder what is next for me? When will it come? How will I react? After a few minutes the thought passes.

Next Sunday will mark thirty-three months. So much has changed, one thing remains constant; I have a terminal disease that may one day take my life. Even after this long, as I write these words, I am still stopped in my tracks. Again, the pause is brief, I go on, I must go on.

Today is one-one, one-one; November 11th. My grandmother would have been 102 today.

However, today my thoughts wander to one person in a big world, making a difference? I am just one person, in a big world, trying in little ways to make a difference. I suppose I am, I wish I could do more, that is not to say I am not proud of what has been accomplished to date.

That is it, not one thought, just one man in one big world.

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Foods I love;

Salmon, grilled on a cedar plank with a glaze made from olive oil, brown sugar, thyme and cayenne pepper.

White chili – prefer chicken to turkey. The more spice, the better. Served with Mary’s corn bread.

My smoothie – even after 500 of these, every Monday thru Friday for 33 months.

Mary’s red sauce with roasted tomatoes and garlic on any pasta noodle.

A crisp, fresh pear


A new favorite song……..

I’m just sittin’ out here,

Watchin’ airplanes,

Wonderin’ which one,

You might be on?

What a Beautiful Ride

Sometimes I run across music that captures my mood, my mood in another time.
Right now, I’m feeling great; no back tinges, my hips are allowing me to ride the exercise bike 2-3 times a week for 15 minutes and playing disc golf is as good as it’s been in a long time!

So today, I was at work reviewing technical documents, listening to my iPod when I ran across the song below. It’s by country western artist Gary Allan. I was given a copy from my brother during a visit to St. Louis in July. I’ve listened to it a number of times, but today it meant a little more.

I’m at one of those ‘top of the roller coaster’ ride moments, things are going well, even with a Dr. appointment next Tuesday…..

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Life Ain’t Always Beautiful – Gary Allan

Life ain’t always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life ain’t always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it’s sweet time

CHOURS
No, life ain’t always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain’t always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride

Life ain’t always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it’s sweet time

No, life ain’t always beautiful
But I know I’ll be fine
Hey, life ain’t always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride