PCa

The end is near, the end of chemo!

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, Ice Bowl, PCa -

It’s been a long road, not too terribly difficult of a road, but long and arduous.
With today’s events, this post is a milestone. It is also the first of many significant posts in the upcoming days.

There are birthdays, anniversaries, and a number of key markers in this journey that are to be recognized. I hope you check back to live and re-live the events with me.

What a long, strange trip it’s been……and will certainly continue to be!

P.S. – It was 17 degrees when we started the Ice Bowl yesterday and 20 degrees when we finished at 12:15. We chose not to play the second round because they were running so far behind that it would have been after 3:00pm. The good news is they were running behind because they had an estimated 300 brave souls out to play Disc Golf!! Great news for this year’s benefactor!

Ace times three

chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, PCa -

That’s this morning, January 11, 2009 after getting a hole-in-one on the 5th hole!

After a long tiring, post chemo week, I was feeling great this morning so I decided to join a few of the guys at a new disc golf course. The baskets aren’t in yet so we aimed for trees marked like the one next to me. The object was to hit the tree below the ribbon. My shot was 300+ feet from the tee pad and hit the tree right smack in the middle.

Better than my accomplishment, my brother in law Rich got two!! He started the day with one on the first hole and finished the round with another on the 18th! It was only 24 degrees when we started but with no wind it quickly reached 40 degrees.

This afternoon we took down the Christmas tree and put the decorations away. Now football has ended and it’s time to finish the book I started yesterday and get a good night sleep before I start working out again tomorrow morning.

Update before ten

chemotherapy, Christmas, David Emerson, Lake of the Ozarks, PCa -

Before I get to your real reason for coming here an update from today I have to share a weather ‘event’. We were driving back from our annual shopping spree at Lake of the Ozarks and we stopped in Clinton, Mo, about an hour from home. When we got out to stretch out legs, etc. it was 65 degrees outside, absolutely beautiful. As was started back out, 15 minutes later it had dropped to 40 degrees and when we arrived home an hour late, it had dropped 41 degrees and was a mere 24! Overnight it is supposed to dip below 9 degrees! Crazy weather…

Hopefully the freezing rain we are also supposed to get won’t make our trip to KU Cancer Cancer too dangerous. The only thing that might make things easier is that this appointment is not until the afternoon, with treatment not beginning until 2:00pm.
I am somewhat reluctant about treatment #10, particularly after the last time. Ten days before Christmas, I could use some good news, something a little encouraging. I spent part of this morning updating a matrix Mary and I keep with all my test scores, as well as a list of what options lie ahead. After looking it over, my mind is all over the place. I’m not really sure what direction I want to go? If we have to make a change we can add DES or estrogen while continuing to see Dr. V, if we want to seek others options and possibly other clinical trials we are in all likely hood going to have to leave KC. Where we end up going would entirely depend on the trial. This is a decision I have dreaded for years. Not much has changed, the dread is still there….
So, that is where I’m at mentally, a little bit all over the place. Apprehensive, scared, encouraged, hopeful, indecisive……. wondering…. what lies ahead?

Looking forward to …..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa, University of Kansas Cancer Center -

number 9.

Tomorrow, about twelve hours from now, I will be in the midst of chemotherapy treatment number nine.  I’m feeling a bit indifferent tonight; I feel great and in fact, overall I feel better than I have in sometime. Not that I have been feeling bad, it’s just I feel really good right now.

Taking advantage of weather in the 50’s today we played disc golf this morning (welcome back Pete, I really missed you).  Upon my return home I took advantage of the nice temperatures and my high energy level and proceeded to put up our outside Christmas lights. It only took me a few hours and I am glad that this chore is behind me. Next weekend we can focus on the inside decorations. That is, depending on the side effects from “old #9”!

I find it hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 3/4 of the way through this process. I want better results, a lower PSA number, and more, but I am a realist at the same time, and things are going extremely well.  I shouldn’t be greedy but I should thank God for what has happened so far in this process.

I probably say this to often but I live this terribly ironic life; I try my best to go on day after day with my head up, trying to remain positive, trying to laugh and live. All the while I carry this unbelievable burden called cancer. Not a cancer that can come, and begone in short order, but a cancer that goes on and on, unknown to most. There is nothing in my outward appearance that would even let anyone know what a cruel war is waging inside of me.

I am and will remain the commander, the General of this war – I will not be defeated without a fight. Fortunately, even after four years, the battle has just gotten underway.

Life

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, disc golf, PCa -

I saw this quote and because it’s so appropriate, I thought I’d pass it along.

Life is not the way it’s supposed to be.

It’s the way that it is.
The way you cope with it,
is what makes the difference.
Played disc golf this morning, 28 degrees when I left the house, but it was 45 degrees when we finished at 10:30.

Monday is treatment #9, more thoughts on that over the weekend!

Another successful year for FLHW

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, FLHW, PCa, PCF -

As many of you know, one of the first things I did after being diagnosed with advanced pc was to establish a non-profit foundation, the Faith – Love – Hope – Win Foundation. The simple mission of this foundation is to raise awareness of the importance of testing and early detection and to raise money to fund the research required to develop improved treatments and ultimately, a cure. In just three and a half years we have donated over $100,000 to the Prostate Cancer Foundation. Here is a recent message that we sent to some of our supporters:

On behalf of the Board of the Faith – Love – Hope – Win Foundation, we would like to personally thank you for your participation and support of the 2008 FLHW golf tournament.

This year’s event was a great success; a success that would not have been realized without your generosity. We were blessed with a beautiful day, a full field of golfers, and an exceptional group of volunteers.

The result of this year’s event is a $32,000 donation to the Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCF). This donation will be doubled through a matching program at PCF. Furthermore, these funds will be dedicated to support research for improved treatments and a cure for advanced prostate cancer.

It is through your participation, coupled with the support of all of our sponsors, participants, and volunteers that we have, in just four short years, cumulatively donated over $100,000 to PCF for advanced prostate cancer research.
­
The research that our donation supports is what gives us hope that a cure will be discovered in our lifetime. Thank you for sharing in our hope.

Mark your calendar now for the 2009 FLHW Tournament which is scheduled for Friday, September 25th at Ironhorse Golf Course. We look forward to seeing you there!

I extend this message of thanks to all who have supported our mission through the years!
2008 was our most successful year so far:

The Quitter

Advanced Prostate Cancer, cowboy poet, David Emerson, PCa, Robert Service -

I ran across the following poem by a ‘cowboy poet’, Robert Service.

It was part of a notice posted to one on the on-line boards I monitor regarding the death of another one of my brethren. I did not know the man, nor did I recognize his name but after reading this, his favorite poem, we were linked by more than PCa.

Read it in it’s entirety, it is reflective of me, my thoughts, my battle and how I fight this fight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Quitter

When you’re lost in the Wild, and you’re scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you’re sore as a boil, it’s according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and…..die.
But the Code of a Man says: “Fight all you can,”
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it’s easy to blow…
It’s the hell-served-for-breakfast that’s hard.

“You’re sick of the game!” Well, now, that’s a shame.
You’re young and you’re brave and you’re bright.
“You’ve had a raw deal!” I know – but don’t squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It’s the plugging away that will win you the day,!
So don’t be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit; it’s so easy to quit:
It’s keeping-your-chin-up that’s hard.

It’s easy to cry that you’re beaten – and die;
It’s easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope’s out of sight-
Why, that’s the best game of them all!
and though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try – it’s dead easy to die,
It’s the keeping-on-living that’s hard.

Ever so brief…..

chemotherapy, David Emerson, Dexamethasone, Dexter, Ironman, PCa -

The good news is my PSA is down another 10% to 31.18
I was hoping to drop into the twenties but I am not complaining!!
Of course that was followed up by another night of no sleep. I woke up at 12:45 after less than two hours of restless sleep. I didn’t fall back asleep until after 4:30 so I started the morning on just three hours of sleep.
I did watch a few more episodes of Dexter (again, very twisted) and I watched Ironman, loved it!
Until next time!