David Emerson

The one, but not the only

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PSA, taxotere -

I’m in the chair waiting for the multitude drugs to be delivered:
In no particular order….
– Benadryl – 25mg
– Dex (more!!) 10mg
– Zofran 24mg
– Zantac 50mg
– Taxotere 151mg

The first four are given for swelling, nausea, allergic reactions etc.

Brad and Mary are here, my God I love them so much!

My pre-treatment PSA came in at: 52.02
Up a little, not as high as 2006, the last time I almost started chemo.

Just to give you an some insight into today’s hospital visit: I’ve been in the chair since 11:10. Treatment was schedule for 11……It’s 11:52 and we have yet to begin. So drag this out for 6 weeks….then make me wait another hour, what ever works for you!!! Sorry, just venting – thank goodness the people are so nice here.

*Live update!!
12:35pm Pre-meds have all been administered and as of three minutes ago….the Tax (chemo) is flowing!

Peace be with you each…

…I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, Dexamethasone, Prednisone -

I’m about 18 hours away from chemo infusion #1 and a few hours away from beginning the pre-medication.
This evening I will start taking Dexamethasone and in the morning Prednisone. Both are steroids used to assist the chemo.
The Dex I take 12mg the night before and morning of chemo. Regarding the Prednisone, I will take one 5mg tablet twice a day…., for the duration of the trial, 36 weeks from now.

There is one thing that concerns me; though they are very small dosages, I have visions of being up at 3:00am, unable to sleep and needing to work a few hours later. Dr. Van said we could adjust the Prednisone and just take both pills each morning if I am having trouble sleeping.

Not knowing the road ahead, I got a lot accomplished this weekend. Two rounds of disc golf and today I mowed the lawn and dug up three stumps from some Japanese Yews I cut down last week. I took Brad to the driving range and practice green and now we are off to Mass and a surprise dinner of some sort? I’m not asking and she’s not telling!!!

So now I come to the title, I need your help, your prayers like you’ve never sent them before!

Stay tuned for a complete update tomorrow.

Scanning the horizon

Advanced Prostate Cancer, bone scan, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa, PSA, xrays -

I had my sixth set of scans Tuesday. Chest X-Ray (as part of the clinical trial), CT scan of my abdomen to look for organ and lymph node ‘involvement’ and a full body bone scan.

Not much to report on items one and two, the results will be discussed on Monday prior to my first chemo treatment. (By the way; 96 hours and counting).

The bone scan was the usual process; lie on my back, the first few minutes are very claustrophobic [I just say a few Hail Mary’s and keep my eyes closed] but after twenty minutes it’s over. This time they took extra pictures from the side focusing on my ribs and pelvis. These are the areas that have always had noticeable tumors.

I was able to talk the technician into showing me the x-rays! The following is only my unprofessional opinion; full body scan: looked the same; spots on my left rib, pelvis area (a.k.a tumors) and the ankle I broke last May appeared the same as in February. Best news – my spine appears to remain tumor free! Finally, no new areas showed up (again, the radiologist may say differently).

As for the side views: not much was revealed on the rib scan, the side view of both hips showed three tumors on the left side and two on the right. I hate to describe these as ‘substantial’, they are there are have been there throughout. I’ll post the scans after I get the CD on Monday.

Happy Birthday Trevor and Happy Anniversary Doug and Michelle!

that is all…..

May, where art thou?

Advanced Prostate Cancer, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa -
Sunday is June the 1st…..exactly where did the month of May go?
On one hand, as the days get longer, time drags, and drags. At the same time, what happened over the last four weeks?
Some random thoughts……
– 4 days – I get re-scanned, x-rays, etc.
– 10 days – I receive my initial chemo treatment
– 30 days – I receive my second chemo treatment, this would have been my mother’s 75th birthday, God rest her soul
– 32 days – major project at work launches
– 34 days – Fourth of July ~ God Bless the USA! (If you didn’t see John Adams on HBO, I recommend you watch it when it comes out on DVD)
– ?# of days until a vacation….the Lake? Colorado? St. Louis?….the back yard…..

Did you ever want a disc of your own?

Advanced Prostate Cancer, Charity Disc Golf, David Emerson, disc golf -
We have a few of the discs from our disc golf tournament left over.
Click here: http://www.flhw.org/2008discgolf_forsale.htm

Since these were already paid for with the donations and proceeds from the tournament,
all the money goes directly to the Faith – Love – Hope – Win Foundation!

Another brother rests in peace…..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, Faith-Love-Hope-WIn, PCa, prostate cancer, rick sadler -

In early 2006, Mary and I spoke to a man named Rick from Houston. We have no idea how or where he found our phone number and frankly it make no difference. Rick was 46 at the time and had recently been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer.

Well, it’s another holiday weekend and another brother has been taken.
Rick’s Obituary
I wrote of Rick here on a few occasions:
http://flhw.ddmpreview.com/three-words-and-a-few-more/
[note the last comment]

and
http://flhw.ddmpreview.com/euro-trip-716-17/
Today’s tears seem to contain more bitterness. They also seem to last a bit longer.
The tears and the hurt and sadness they represent sting more than previous losses.
Why? Perhaps the onset of chemo (14 days from today)?

God, please stop the madness…..

Prayer to Saint Peregrine ~ Patron Saint to cancer patients
O great St. Peregrine,
you have been called “The Mighty,”
“The Wonder-Worker,”
because of the numerous miracles
which you have obtained from God
for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years
you bore in your own flesh
this cancerous disease
that destroys the very fiber of our being,
and who had recourse
to the source of all grace
when the power of man could do no more.

You were favored with the vision of Jesus
coming down from His Cross
to heal your affliction.

Ask of God and Our Lady,
the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession,
we shall sing to God,
now and for all eternity,
a song of gratitude
for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.

I live for the weekend…..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, Kansas City Disc Golf, Memorial day, triumph -

Yes, an old Triumph send from the 1970’s…I dare include the lyrics!

In about 15 minutes I will depart for the Memorial Day weekend. I have to pause and thank
My dad, brother-in-law Rich, Bill B., Kirk M., Tattoo Steve and all those that served this country. Without your service and defense of simple freedoms like the freedom of speech – blogs like mine would not exist. I am grateful for your service and sacrifice.

Four rounds in just over three days, that is what lies ahead. 5:00pm today some of us are playing in the local disc golf league at Wyandotte County Park. A long course but with the hole-in-one fund sitting at $2,000 I’ll take a shot at a $1,000 (you have to split the pot with the club). Tomorrow is the usual, except Brad will be playing with us. Sunday and Monday we are playing as well.

I’ll need to come back to work to get some rest!

I have to get as much in while I can, not knowing what to expect post 6-9-08…..I’m not worried though, I’m going to tolerate chemo like a warrior!

Peace be with you all – and those of you stateside….Happy and safe Memorial Day!

Looking West

Advanced Prostate Cancer, bone scan, chemotherapy, Colorado, CT scan, David Emerson, Lake of the Ozarks -

A few medical updates after Monday.

I / we were not real comfortable waiting an additional week to start chemo (until June 16th).
Tuesday, Mary did the leg work, called the doctor’s office and inquired if if there was anything we could do in the next four weeks, or if there were any alternatives/options.

Yesterday they called back with some encouraging news. I will start treatments on the 9th as originally planned! This means on the 3rd I will have to spend most of the day at the hospital getting; a chest x-ray, a C/T scan and full body bone scan. This will mark the 6th set of the latter two tests. I imagine I might begin to glow at night, as they have to inject me with low-dose radiation each time they do a bone scan.

These last three weeks have been draining. Not only are the days longer, but the weeks seem to drag on and on. I never thought I would look forward to starting chemo. It’s just this; we made a decision, let’s get on with it.

Another somewhat stressful aspect is that we can’t really plan our summer. We wanted to take Brad to Colorado, I was going to take him camping, a trip to the lake, a weekend at my brother’s property, a trip to see my dad in St. Louis, and the annual get together with my sister from Ohio. Well all of that is currently in limbo. The whole chemo process could go according to plan; very few side effects, little fatigue, white and red cell counts stay high or near normal etc. but because we don’t know, we have to be careful not to plan too far ahead.

I pray for results like I had with Ketoconizal and other medications. I consistently responded well to previous treatments. Our hope is that the chemotherapy will get the cancer under control, my PSA will decrease, we can follow it up with other meds to keep it under control and resume a somewhat normal lifestyle for years to come. We’ll see.

I thank God daily for such a loving wife and wonderful, understanding son. I know he’ll love Colorado, when we finally get there……

The Inevitable

Advanced Prostate Cancer, Atrasentan, chemotherapy, David Emerson, PCa, taxotere, University of Kansas Cancer Center -

After 39 months, the inevitable is finally upon us. After meeting with my Oncologist today and receiving my updated PSA number (38.31) we had “the talk”.

I am definitely ready to take the next step and use a more aggressive treatment to try to to get the cancer under control. We have been fairly conservative during the past three years. Even so, we have had great results and I have no regrets on any decision we have made to date.

I am eligible for a clinical trial at the University of Kansas Cancer Center. We are researching it and at this point are favoring this protocol. It would be the standard chemotherapy (Docetaxel plus Prednisone) that I would receive, plus an additional oral medication (Atrasentan) that has shown benefit to other patients with advanced hormone refractory prostate cancer. It is a Phase III trial which is randomized, so I would have a 50% chance of receiving the additional medicine versus a placebo. I will receive the chemotherapy intravenously once every three weeks for 12 sessions, which means I’ll finish up in early 2009.

From the things I’ve read about this protocol it is very well tolerated. Most men continue to work or keep up with most of their daily activities. I plan on being no different. Fatigue usually sets in about 4-5 days post treatment which we plan to schedule so it would coincide with the weekend. So in other words, more movies, more couch time!

Crank up the prayer chain people…..I’m going to need a little help here!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Historic Data:
4/21/08 38.31
3/24/08 34.7
2/25/08 29.4 (Started taking Nilandron on 2/4/08; Started Selenium 200 mcg on 2/26/08)
1/28/08 36.2 (Stopped taking Ketoconazole and Hydrocortisone in anticipation of next treatment)
12/31/07 30.9
12/3/07 21.9
11/5/07 23.3
10/8/07 19.30
>10/8/07 Changed Lupron from 120 day dose to monthly dose> 9-12-07 Began taking .5mg of Avodart per day. Changed Ketoconazole from 600mg twice per day to 400mg three times per day)
9/4/07 21.80
8/6/07 19.25
8/2/07 16.96
7/02/07 20.30
6/04/07 17.80
4/30/07 16.25
4/2/07 17.68
3/5/07 21.87
2/5/07 20.90
1/8/07 18.90
12/11/06 24.86
11/13/06 43.61
10/16/06 51.48 (Started “High Dose” Ketoconazole and Hydrocortisone, 10/01)[at this point and for a second time we prepared for Taxotere. First my Oncologist wanted to try High Dose Ketoconazole and Hydrocortisone.]
9/11/06 83.97 (started Zometa)
8/23/06 41.77
8/18/06 54.66(no tests in June or July)
5/19/06 11.37 (stopped Casodex)
4/3/06 4.25
3/5/06 1.45 (started Casodex again)
1/27/06 0.46
12/28/05 1.85[at this point we prepared for Taxotere, chemotherapy treatments. First I had a new PSA test and new bone and CT scans, lymph nodes clear, spine clear, ribs, femur and hips stable. The PSA dropped to 1.85 and the scans revealed marked improvement. Chemo was cancelled 72 hours before it was scheduled to begin]
12/15/05 7.18
11/03/05 4.64 (Stopped taking Casodex)
9/22/05 0.8
08/11/05 0.35 [nadir]
6/24/05 0.55
4/17/05 2.51 (taken at MD Anderson, Gleason lowered to 7/7)
4/06/05 3.51 (Six weeks after starting Lupron and Casodex)Original Gleason scores (7/8)
Pre-treatment tests:
2/18/05 Started Lupron
2/11/05 Started Casodex
2/?/05 219
12/?/04 189 (Original test)

the grand illusion, my own delusion…..

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, PCa, poems -
I found these in my in box. I’m not sure what I was waiting for or why I had not posted.

I like the first better, the second one hits to close to home.

~~~~~~~~~

A Glimpse of Time
12/7/07
A colorful smile,
and I pause for a while.
Thinking, wishing
what will become.

Strangers pass,
not a pause,
perhaps a subtle glance,
as time ticks to it’s beat.

Busy, so busy,
a vague breath,
a tapping toe,
a hurried dash.

Life is a snapshot,
a portrait,
a glimpse of time,
that once was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Self Delusions
12/7/07
I long for a good cry,
a sob,
one that causes,
a gasp, as sigh.

The stream,
covers a cheek,
to taste the salt,
on my tongue like cream.

Personified strength,
an image, no more,
the grand illusion,
my own delusion…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~