prostate cancer

Read ’em and Weep!

Advanced Prostate Cancer, FLHW, Jimmy V, prostate cancer, Prostate Cancer Foundation, Saint Michael, texas Hold 'em -

There are a number of reasons for the title of today’s blog. The last 24 hours have been, as I’ve described in the past, that part of my journey, my roller coaster ride, that I can reflect on and enjoy. I’m on an ‘up’!!

First and most importantly my PSA number this month: 21.9

I’m trying to type and pray at the same time! Thank You God for giving me good news as we approach Christmas. I was not sure how Mary and I would have dealt with bad news hanging over our heads during the holidays? Obviously, we would like the number to be much lower, but at least it is not doubling, tripling, etc. As Dr. H would say, the change is statistically insignificant, which equates to a stable condition. I am grateful that I continue to feel good and that we don’t have to worry about it this year!!

Number two, the ‘Jimmy V’ video is on ESPN right now.

Another reason is last night we held another Texas Hold ’em Poker event. We had a great time as you can see from the picture. Kyle (right) took home the first place prize, Bruce (far left) was second and my long time friend Steve took third. Due to the success of the event we will be making another $1,000 donation to the Prostate Cancer Foundation. It will be matched for a total of $2,000!! A large thank you goes out to everyone who played and contributed to the night’s success!

Finally, I add this note with a bit of trepidation, however I feel I need to include the information. There is a wonderful, very spiritual woman at our Church that is facing her own cancer battle right now. She will start chemo soon and I would like to ask you to say a prayer for her, as she fights this devil, cancer.

I saw her and briefly spoke with her Saturday after Mass. The emotion and the fear were painted across her face. Mary and I know that fear all too well. I tried to be encouraging, I could only tell her she was in my prayers. I hope that somehow, my words comforted her. Once again….it’s not about me. Damn this cancer!

So, as she continues her battle, I include and recite this prayer for her:

Prayer to Saint Michael:
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray.
And you,
Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into Hell Satan
and the other evil spirits
who prowl the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Historical Numbers
Date – PSA
12/3/07 21.9
11/5/07 23.3
10/8/07 19.30
>10/8/07 Changed Lupron from 120 day dose to monthly dose
> 9-12-07 Began taking .5mg of Avodart per day. Changed Ketoconazole from 600mg twice per day to 400mg three times per day)
9/4/07 21.80
8/6/07 19.25
8/2/07 16.96
7/02/07 20.30
6/04/07 17.80
4/30/07 16.25
4/2/07 17.68
3/5/07 21.87
2/5/07 20.90
1/8/07 18.90
12/11/06 24.86
11/13/06 43.61
10/16/06 51.48 (Started “High Dose” Ketoconazole and Hydrocortisone, 10/01)[at this point and for a second time we prepared for Taxotere. First my Oncologist wanted to try High Dose Ketoconazole and Hydrocortisone.]
9/11/06 83.97 (started Zometa)
8/23/06 41.77
8/18/06 54.66(no tests in June or July)
5/19/06 11.37 (stopped Casodex)
4/3/06 4.25
3/5/06 1.4
51/27/06 0.46
12/28/05 1.85[at this point we prepared for Taxotere, chemotherapy treatments. First I had a new PSA test and new bone and CT scans, lymph nodes clear, spine clear, ribs, femur and hips stable. The PSA dropped to 1.85 and the scans revealed marked improvement. Chemo was cancelled 72 hours before it was scheduled to begin]12/15/05 7.1811/03/05 4.64 (Stopped taking Casodex)9/22/05 0.808/11/05 0.35
6/24/05 0.55
4/17/05 2.51 (taken at MD Anderson, Gleason lowered to 7/7)
4/06/05 3.51 (Six weeks after starting Lupron and Casodex)Original Gleason scores (7/8)Pre-treatment test:
2/?/05 219
12/?/04 189 (Original test)

A Cold December morning

Advanced Prostate Cancer, Christmas, DN-101, prostate cancer -

We are off to see the doctor in a few minutes.

I am slightly apprehensive after last month’s slight bump in my PSA.

It’s the holiday season, I want and pray for a good number. I’m not being greedy here, not expecting or asking for my number to drop by 50%, just would like it to come in a little lower than last month. Something to indicate that the cancer has not started down the path that will lead us to our next treatment regime….likely chemo.

Also, just to add a little fuel to the fire and give some of you insight into what those of us with Advanced Prostate Cancer deal with, yet another clinical trial to treat Advanced PCa has been pulled. This one just happened to be the trial we were most interested in, both because it was available here in Kansas City and because of the nature of the trial. It turns out the incident of heart attack for trial patients was higher than anticipated. We are a little disappointed, but then again, we aren’t there yet anyway. It’s a bit disheartening as there are such limited treatment options for this stage of the disease.

Mary and I did spend the weekend decorating the house. I do love Christmas. The outside lights, trees and many many other decorations are scattered throughout the house. It kind of makes it easy to forget about cancer. At lease for a few minutes here and there.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up!

ESPY Awards, Faith-Love-Hope-WIn, Jim Valvano, prostate cancer -

My next doctor appointment is on Monday, the month flew by fast!!!

Combined with the onset of the holiday season, this video has my emotions running
high. I wrote about the same subject last year.

The video is Jim Valvano at the 1993 ESPY Awards. If you haven’t watched it,
even if you have and it’s been awhile, take the ten minutes and watched it again. Listen to his words and imagine for a minute……

One

Gary Allan, grilled salmon, prostate cancer, Watching Airplanes -

I had a lot of time over the weekend to think. To think about nothing, to think about life, family, prostate cancer, the usual. I spent the weekend away from Mary and Brad with my brother Doug, brother-in-law Rich, and a few other friends, as they deer hunted.

I don’t hunt, so I just hung out around the cabin, finished a book, chopped wood, watched a few movies and listened to them discuss “would of, could of, should of”. As I write this, it’s Sunday morning. No one has gotten the big buck yet.

I look out the windows across the back of the cabin, I view the beauty of north central Missouri and I wonder what is next for me? When will it come? How will I react? After a few minutes the thought passes.

Next Sunday will mark thirty-three months. So much has changed, one thing remains constant; I have a terminal disease that may one day take my life. Even after this long, as I write these words, I am still stopped in my tracks. Again, the pause is brief, I go on, I must go on.

Today is one-one, one-one; November 11th. My grandmother would have been 102 today.

However, today my thoughts wander to one person in a big world, making a difference? I am just one person, in a big world, trying in little ways to make a difference. I suppose I am, I wish I could do more, that is not to say I am not proud of what has been accomplished to date.

That is it, not one thought, just one man in one big world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Foods I love;

– Salmon, grilled on a cedar plank with a glaze made from olive oil, brown sugar, thyme and cayenne pepper.

– White chili – prefer chicken to turkey. The more spice, the better. Served with Mary’s corn bread.

– My smoothie – even after 500 of these, every Monday thru Friday for 33 months.

– Mary’s red sauce with roasted tomatoes and garlic on any pasta noodle.

– A crisp, fresh pear


A new favorite song……..

I’m just sittin’ out here,

Watchin’ airplanes,

Wonderin’ which one,

You might be on?

With apologies to Fall

fall, PCa, prostate cancer, roses, test results -

So as you know, I’m not a big fan of the Fall season.

While I do like a few things about this time of year, the fact that nature is preparing for the on set of Winter does not do too much to brighten my spirits.

However, the other morning I found two reasons to issue an apology to Fall. The pictures are not high quality, as I took them with my cell phone camera.

The first are the last three roses of the season. Mary and I grow a pretty mean rose. Several of the plants have reached heights of eight feet, and these are not climbers. Three roses, each from a different plant, each a different color. There’s that number three again…..hmmm?



The second is a picture of our Indian Summer Maple tree. I missed it’s peak by a day or two but I hope you see the source of it’s name. It truly is at it’s best during Indian Summer.


Tick, tick, tick…..what’s that? The sound of my heart racing as I wait for my monthly test results!

After the letters, we moved on to the numbers

Big and Rich, Deaf Pedestrians, Five for Fighting, iPod, Matchbox 20, PCa, prostate cancer, U2 -

Finishing up on my adventure through my iPod. If you don’t remember, or are new around here, back in September I started listening to my iPod in alphabetical order by song title. It’s been amazing and a fantastic way to shuffle through the entire 6 meg stuffed into my iPod Mini.

With 14 songs to go (of 1307 in total) I got through the letters and switched to songs that being with numbers. First up was:
100 Years by Five for Fighting – a song that hits too close to home, my eyes well up almost every time I listen to it. “there’s never a wish better than this, when you only got a hundred years to live“
15 Beers Ago by the Deaf Pedestrians – I think I got this as a free iTunes song. A head banger, I think they are a Dallas based band?
Well I might’ve gone too far
‘Cuz now I’m sitting at the bar
Without a beer and 13 rednecks
At the bar.

And they’re talking about their trucks
And if the Stars will beat the Ducks
And the band onstage that sucks
At the bar.
And this is how I’m gonna end it…

1979 by Smashing Pumpkins – my favorite Pumpkins song by far.
19th Nervous Breakdown by the Rolling Stones. A classic, listed without comment.
29 by the Gin Blossoms. It didn’t garner much (any?) airplay but one of my favorites
Only time will tell if wishing wells
Can bring us anything
Or fade like scenes from childhood dreams
Forgotten memories

3 AM by Matchbox 20. The chorus reminds me of 3 A.M. conversations with Mary.
and she says baby
it’s 3am I must be lonely
when she says baby
well I can’t help but be scared of it all sometimes
the rain’s gonna wash away I believe it

40 by Section 5. This a cover of the U2 of the same title. However, Section 5 is a string quartet and the song is from the album titled “Strung Out on U2” [thanks Gary], the album is a must for any avid U2 fan, very cool.

Finally, what was last? What song was #1307? Was there more irony, as noted in earlier posts? Not really.
The final song happened to be 8th of of November by Big and Rich. Put any disdain you may have for country music and listen to this wonderful tribute to the 173rd Airborne during what some say was one of the deadliest battles in Vietnam.
On the 8th of November,
The angels were crying
As they carried his brothers away.
With the fire raining down
And the Hell all around
There were few men left standing that day.
Saw the eagle fly,
Through a clear, blue sky
1965, the 8th of November.

It’s wonderful…..isn’t it?

Arrowhead, Brett Favre, James Morrison, Kansas City Chiefs, Louis Armstrong, O.A.R., prostate cancer, Sam Cooke, Wonderful World -

Just feeling a bit perky today, not sure why.

A few songs that reflect my current mood:

James Morrison – Wonderful World
O.A.R. – Wonderful Day
Sam Cooke – What A Wonderful World This Would Be
and of course the granddaddy of them all……

Louis Armstrong – Wonderful World

We have a busy weekend ahead of us before Monday’s monthly doctor appointment…..A chilly round of disc golf tomorrow morning, a trip to the vet, yard work, dinner with friends, the Chiefs vs. the Packers (Favre’s last trip to Arrowhead!)…..

I’ve been ever reluctant to predict test results, but I’m feeling good things for next week!!!

This is such a great song, the words to the chorus, though WAY off base are beautiful, as is the rest of the song.
From the chorus of James Morrison’s Wonderful World:

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

I love a parade…..

Boston, prostate cancer, PSA, Red Sox, World Series 2007 -

I started this entry (from Boston) thinking it would be real easy to find the Broadway show or movie that this song came from….well I couldn’t!

What I did find out was more than I ever wanted to know about Harold Arlen. Not only did he write “I Love a Parade”, but also “Stormy Weather”, “Over the Rainbow” and many, many more. My suspicion was that it came from “Music Man” but I could find no evidence to support this idea.

Anyway, I’m in Boston for a conference and while I had hoped to spend the evening in some local restaurant or pub watching the Red Sox win the World Series, the Rockies did as well as my Cardinals did against the Sox in 2004. So now I might have an opportunity to witness the 2007 World Series Parade in downtown Boston…. depends on the start time and my schedule at the conference tomorrow…..

My next monthly doctor appointment is a week from today. I find myself very indifferent about next week. Perhaps because, once again, there is no change in how I feel. This is a good thing – certainly no complaints! So, I’ll have some ‘chowdah’ with an old friend tomorrow night and some local seafood and travel home on Wednesday night. Happy Halloween and a Blessed All Saints day as well!

Sunday and Sundown….

disc golf, Kansas City, prostate cancer, Raph Macchio, Sundown, U2 -

Eventually two things will come to an end; first I will get through my complete iPod play list and second, we will finish painting my brother in law’s house! I would put money on the latter, I have just reached song 995 of 1,246. Yesterday morning yet another bout of irony, songs that began with “Sunday” in the title (think U2 etc.). But my favorite song of the day had to be “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot.

Sometimes I think it’s a shame
When I get feelin’ better when I’m feelin’ no pain
Sometimes I think it’s a shame
When I get feelin’ better when I’m feelin’ no pain

It was quite a beautiful weekend in Kansas City, 82 and sunny on Saturday, windy and 65 yesterday. It was nice enough that we played disc golf both days. Saturday we had a big crowd and played a two man scramble, yesterday there was just four of us and we played down in the woods to avoid the 30+ mph wind gusts. I held my own and squeaked by with a one shot victory over Rich, Pete and Jud.

We spent seven hours Saturday and five more yesterday painting. The house looks great we are both aiming to finish next Saturday! I’m strange, yes for a lot of reasons, but I like painting, I always have. In some way I find it therapeutic or relaxing. I’m not sure what Ralph Macchio‘s problem was?