Kenny Chesney

Old Reliable

anna maria island, Boston, David Emerson, Kenny Chesney -
Aside from the obvious list of supporters;  Mary, Brad, family, friends, etc, there is one more person that has consistently been with me through this journey.

I was already a fan when I was diagnosed, but right around that same time I acquired the album, ‘Songs from the Old Blue Chair’. At the time I was working in downtown Kansas City and had a forty-five minute commute twice a day. Everyday there he was with his songs about Boston, pirates, sailors, beaches and more. The songs and the album became my escape from the reality that was crushing me emotionally and weighing on my physically.
In no way would I ever claim to be his biggest fan or proclaim that I know every word to every one of his songs. As I type this entry the song ‘Boston’ just came on my iPod. As I sit on this airplane, taking my last of nine flights to Atlanta, I am really struggling not to cry. This song, if there was ‘a’ song, is the song that best encapsulates the last six and a half years of my life. The song is basically about a girl who left everything in Boston to embrace the island life. If you are a long time reader you know my love of the beach, the sand, sailing, etc. I want that life. To leave everything and take Mary and Brad and leave cancer and life behind. To basically re-live the week I just spent on Anna Maria Island.  Coffee on the patio listening to the surf, mornings by the pool, walks on the beach, fresh seafood daily and a carefree, laid back life of little to no worries. It’s a dream I would hope to fulfill someday.
Thank you Kenny Chesney for your beautiful music and for providing the momentary escape from the reality that has become my life.
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Is it just me or do you also see the irony that the location I am most likely headed for my next clinical trial is Boston? Hmm? Maybe nothing, but maybe fate is stepping it up a notch.
(footnote – the tears won, I couldn’t completely fight them off. They were happy ones!)

I didn’t get here alone

435 South, Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, John Holt, Kenny Chesney, PSA -

One of the positives about this whole experience, yes there are a few, are all the new friendships I’ve made during this journey. There is Jason, who because of someone wearing one of our golf hats, contacted me about his ‘Warrior Combines’ event. Although we’ve only known each other for a little over a year, I feel as if I’ve known him all my life. There are also a number of online friends that I have not had the opportunity to meet in person, but I know they are as close as the keyboard, of if needed, just a phone call away.

Another relatively new friendship that I am blessed with is with a fellow PC survivor named John. John is down to earth, honest, funny and just an all around good guy.  He is a local news anchor here in KC.  He provides me with inspiriation, as well as confidence to beat this menacing disease. The background on how we met and the story of our friendship was recently captured in a magazine article in a local publication “435 South”.  http://www.flhw.org/in-the-press/40-print/113-qthe-buddy-systemq.html. The writer did a great job of capturing our stories and promoting our message of the importance to go get tested. 

Here is one of the pictures that didn’t make the cut… I like it better than the one they did use!

My relationship with Jason, John, and so many other friends, both new and old, that I’ve shared my journey with over these past six years, reminds me of the Kenny Chesney song, ‘I didn’t get here alone’:

I didn’t get here alone
That road’s just too rough and long
I might be the one the spotlight’s on
But, I didn’t get here alone
Yeah, I know I didn’t get here alone

How many? A lot when you count them all.

Abiraterone, Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, hrpca, Kenny Chesney, PSA, Zac Brown Band -
As much as I try there are times in this journey, like right now, that I cannot help but spend a lot of time wondering and worrying. Overall I remain positive, but it’s only natural that I ‘suppose’ in my thoughts. The good news is starting May 1st my life is going to get rather busy (busier than it currently is, if that is possible!) and that will provide less free time for my mind to wander.
I have another speech early in the month, two events for the foundation, one on the 6th and the other on the 14th, Brad has confirmation, graduation and then we are taking a trip to Florida.  June will include Mary having a medical procedure of her own followed by substantial recovery. In July I will be going to Chicago to see U2 with a few friends, followed by my 30th High School Reunion in St. Louis.  At the end of the month we are going to the Kenny Chesney concert with one of my favorites, the Zac Brown Band. For the latter event I will finally be meeting a fellow PCa survivor and dear friend Tony. After all of this, Brad will be starting high school in August and well, life will go on. I’m tired just reading this list!
In this midst of all this hustle and bustle, I really need my trial medication to kick in. My PSA needs to stabilize at a minimum and actually decrease significantly. If not, what lies ahead is some combination of Provenge, chemo, and perhaps other clinical trial drugs. Some MAY be more promising than others, but it is the current medication we are counting on for results.
I’m going to do my best to focus on the list above, yard work and various home repair projects we are in the midst of currently. There are times when I am real good at it, there are others like now when I struggle. In the end, things could be far worse for me, so I stop, say a prayer and count the many blessings in my life.
Tomorrow is what I really hope is my last trip to Atlanta. We are very happy with the medical staff in Atlanta, it is just that the logistics are time consuming, expensive and ultimately exhausting. My case will be transferred to my regular Oncologist locally at the KU Cancer Center. Additionally, per the trial protocal, my visits will become monthly instead of bi-monthly. Your prayers for a lower PSA, or at a minimum a stable PSA would be greatly appreciated.

I got the music in me

Advanced Prostate Cancer, David Emerson, Frank Zappa, Kenny Chesney -

Ain’t got no trouble in my life
No foolish dream to make me cry
I’m never frightened or worried
You know I always get by.
I heat up
I cool down
Something gets in my way I go around it
Don’t let life get me down
Gonna take it the way that I found it
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Through all the ups and downs of this battle, the one thing, aside from the support of Mary, family and friends, that is a constant and that is music.

For you regulars you know my taste is all over the place. When I wrote this on Wednesday I had already listened to a variety consisting on amongst others; Peter Frampton,  Frank Zappa,  Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, Dave Brubeck and Keb Mo.

It’s the escape, the flood of memories, the highs, the lows, the smiles, the tears. I never learned to play an instrument, I wish I had. No regrets becasue not being able to play has not tempered my love for music.

Happy blog-aversary!!

Advanced Prostate Cancer, Chef Roger, chemotherapy, David Emerson, FLHW, Kenny Chesney, PCa, ric masten, rick sadler, wes witcher -

February 2, 2005
The title, “Start of the end”.
How short sighted was I?
So many, many things have happened since then, I’ll try to communicate the highlights in the list below:
– Fear
– Acceptance
– The root of FLHW
– Disappointment in Houston
– Kenny Chesney, Boston concert, etc.
– Disc golf
– The beauty of Spring
– The continued importance of friends and prayer
– Reaching nadir so quickly
– Selecting an Oncologist
– The emotional ups and downs begin
– Anna Maria Island
– Sweden, the British Open
– The Lake
– The Kooks
– Holidays
– It’s not about me
– Birthdays
– The passing of Leona
– The passing of Ric, Rick, Wes, Aubrey, Chef Roger and other PCa brothers
– The power of Hope
– It is what it is
– Chemotherapy
– Friends from: New Zealand, Australia, Las Vegas, Tennessee, New York, Texas, Florida and more
– $100K for PCF
– Brad
– Mary
– the future….

No regrets….

Edwin McCain, Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, Miles Davis, prostate cancer, PSA, the Big C, U2 -

I have spent the past three days in San Antonio at a conference for work. While it was very educational, I also had the opportunity to spend time with a few people that have become important to me since I began my battle with prostate cancer.

On Tuesday, I had lunch with John W. John’s blog is linked on the left. He lives in Austin and has CLL. Over the past few years we have become good friends and for him to drive down from Austin just to have lunch was an incredible act of kindness. I’ll post the picture here after he sends it over.

Tuesday night, I had dinner with Mark H. Mark and I met at the conference I attended in Los Angeles last month. We had some really great sushi and exchanged a number of stories, thoughts and perspectives on prostate cancer. Like John W he traveled about 70 miles to join me, I really appreciate it Mark!!!

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For the golf tournament I had created a CD based of the music that I have mentioned within this blog – but I forgot to play it.

In case you are interested, here’s the song list:

I’ll be- Edwin McCain
Amarillo Sky – Jason Aldean
Broadway – Goo Goo Dolls
Beautiful Day – U2
Santa Monica – 3 Doors Down

Life Ain’t Always Beautiful – Gary Allan
One Thing – FINGER ELEVEN
Songs We Sing – Matt Costa
Can’t Get There From Here – REM
Photograph – Nickelback
Boston and Island Boy – Kenny Chesney
Kind of Blue – Miles Davis
Blue Rondo à la Turk – Dave Brubeck
Back on Top – Van Morrison
The Calling – Wherever you will go